“Honesty is the
first chapter of the book of wisdom,” wrote Thomas Jefferson. When it comes to
small children and honesty, it’s not usually hard to find. The word “brutal”
comes to mind. “Aunt Becky, did you know that your belly is huge?” With older
children and teens, the truth sometimes becomes more elusive. Here are a few
ideas to help guide your children on the correct honesty
path:
1.
Reward
The Truth
As parents we are
often quick to scold. Sometimes we aren’t always so quick to praise. Reward
honesty with loads of praise and hugs. It will build self-confidence and
reinforce the positive behavior. Plus a child can never get too much
love.
2.
The
Art of “Spin”
The brutal truth
should not always be spoken. Such as the hurtful comment towards Aunt Becky
mentioned in the opening. We have all heard the saying, “If you don’t have
something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” One needs not lie and say
Aunt Becky is skinny. Just don’t say anything. Or find something else about Aunt
Becky that is positive. “That sure is a colorful shirt.” Spin. People make a lot
of money doing it. Spin works two ways, but when done for good, it’s a wonderful
tool to learn.
3.
The
Hard Truth
Correct morals and
purity of spirit always trump protecting the feelings of someone who is doing
wrong. Wrong is always wrong. For instance, your son’s best friend is cheating
on tests and your son is fully aware. He has a duty to go to his friend and
advise him to quit. He’s hurting himself and cheating the others who have
honestly studied. If he refuses, then your son would have to tell the teacher
about what is going on. That is called the hard truth. Nobody wants to be put in
that position. Yet, life constantly puts us in these types of situations. As
adults, we are faced with all kinds of scams, rampant adultery, and general
dishonesty. Teach your children to stand strong on the side of
righteousness.
4.
The
Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree
As is always the
case, you are the role model. You do not want your child to hear you telling a
lie. To see you perform a dishonest act. Yes, you could enter the national park
for free since there is no attendant. But the sign says $5 dollars. Put your
money in the slot and move along. Yes, it would make your life easier if Grandma
didn’t know you were in town this time. But your child is listening to you on
the phone telling her you don’t know when you’ll be there again. Are these the
traits you want to teach your children? Clean up your act. Those little eyes and
ears are always open.
5.
Do
Not Lead The Witness
Though it’s tempting
to test them, try to avoid asking questions that give your child a chance to not
be honest. You saw your daughter spill red juice on the couch. No need to ask,
“Did you just spill your juice on the couch?” This leads her to believe she
might have a way out and could possibly pass blame elsewhere. Just tell her to
clean it up. She’ll have enough opportunities to tell the
truth.
6.
Truth
Or Consequences
We all sin. Even
children do. They will eventually lie to you and you will eventually catch them.
It’s important that there be consequences for their actions. Appropriate
discipline should be carried out and followed through. Make it so not worth it
to lie.
7.
Correct
Mistakes
Catching your child
being dishonest is a good time to break out your teacher hat. Help him correct
the mistake. Talk about how he could have responded or reacted differently. An
example would be that your son came home with an Evan Longoria rookie card. He
obtained it by trading his friend two Pat Burrell cards. Obviously, his friend
knows nothing about baseball or really likes Pat Burrell. Either way, he got
swindled. Explain to your son that trades should include fair value on both
sides. Preying on the unaware is not a desirable character trait. Return the
card and work out a fair deal.
8.
Your
Word Is Gold
The most important
character trait a person can possess keeping and following through on promises
made. This one thing alone will take a person very far in life. To be trusted
and deemed honorable is a crown even a king would envy. Teach your children to
be people who consider their word gold. When they give it, they don’t break it.
It is much harder than it sounds. Fool’s gold is easily found. The real thing
takes a lot of digging. Gold is highly sought after and is extremely valuable.
Just the kind of person you want your child to be.
9.
What’s
Yours Is Yours
Possessions can
create all sorts of problems. The best policy is to teach a child early on that
what they have belongs to them. What other people have belongs to that person.
It is not OK to borrow a game and never return it. It’s awesome to share, but
the item must always be returned. We all have that neighbor who borrows our
trimmer and never brings it back. You don’t want your son to be that guy. It
might sound harmless, but honesty does not take days off. Value your own
possessions and keep your hands off your
neighbors’.
10.
Look
for honest friends
Show me your friends
and I will show you your future. If your child’s friends lie and cheat, so will
they. But if your child’s friends are upstanding and honest clean through, your
son or daughter will be that much better off. Keep an ear out for any of your
children’s friends who lie. They’re a terrible example for your
children.
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