FAMILY WEEK & VBS VOLUNTEER RECRUITING!

It's family week which means a break from the C.W. Playhouse. Of course, we've already mentioned that the J-team has moved on. Next week Chuck Foo replaces them as we move into teaching on the life of Joseph and Core Value 4: The Glory of God. But before all of that, we have an exciting family service planned this weekend! We will be promoting VBS and looking to sign up adults to help us out this summer with our CAMP! theme. As part of that promotion, we'll be meeting the Camp mascot for the first time and your kids will love him. His name is Kodiak, and he's a friendly bear. Don't miss the fun this Sunday.

And by the way, I encourage you to encourage your kids to be involved in family services like they are in Kids church. This service is for them too! Pastor Nick is planning a song or two this Sunday that will hopefully pull the kids in a bit more as well!

Five Causes of Anger

Some parents have a hard time analyzing their anger to get anything positive out of it. A helpful way to uncover what’s behind your anger is to recognize anger’s five basic causes. These five causes overlap at points and you may find that the situation you’re experiencing fits more than one, but this list is often helpful to bring some rationale to feelings. Use these causes to guide your self-reflection when you start to feel angry and then move into a more healthy response.

1. Physical Pain - When a child hits you or you step on a sharp toy, your anger may, in part, be fueled by the physical pain you experience.

2. Blocked Goals - Trying to leave the house by 7:35 am and turning to see that your three-year-old took her shoes off again can lead to anger.

3. Violated Rights - When her five-year-old is knocking on the bathroom door, a mom may feel angry and think, “I have the right to go to the bathroom in peace.” A dad may believe that he has a right to come home and have a few minutes to relax in quiet before taking on family problems

4. Unfairness - When a mom sees a big brother picking on his sister, or a younger child harassing an older one, she may get angry because of the obvious unfairness of the situation. A dad may feel it’s unfair that he has to help bathe the kids after putting in a hard day’s work.

5. Unmet Expectations - A mom might say, “I expected to arrive home from work to cook dinner, but instead I come home to this mess!” Unmet expectations seem to go along with the job of parenting but often result in angry feelings.

Discovering what is causing your angry feelings will often help you see where your child needs to grow or change, giving you more insight into how to discipline most effectively. Understanding the five causes of anger can help you as you relate to your family.

Each time you feel angry, stop for a minute and try to identify which of these is the cause. Putting a label on your feelings may help you redirect some of that energy to a more productive response. You may begin to see patterns in yourself and identify one particular cause that is more common for you. This observation can help you know how to adjust your reaction.


This tip was taken from the book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

Chuck Foo takes over for the J-team in C.O.R.E.!

Three Core Values down, two to go and it's time for a new C.O.R.E. agent! We've seen the last of the J-team... for now, but PK Baracus' good friend, Chuck Foo, the Karate Guy will be joining us at C.O.R.E. headquarters for the next couple of months as we transition into the life of Joseph. Chuck will be joined by his prize student, Jen Soo, as they teach the kids how to bring Glory to God with everything they do, just as Joseph did. That's a tall order to fill, but Chuck is the best there is at what he does, which is why PK Baracus says, "I NEVER Pity this Foo!"

Chuck & Jen join us starting April 10th!

C.O.R.E. Month 3 - Relationships: The J-Team Teaches Kids to Care for Others!

This past Sunday marked the half-way point for C.O.R.E. and the J-Team continues to make our core values exciting and understandable to our kids. On Sunday PK Baracus shared the account of Jacob working for his wife Rachel and being deceived by his future father-in-law. Jacob learned that the very sins he sewed have reaped a harvest in his life. As he deceived his own father by deceiving his brother's blessing, so Laban forced over 20 years of labor out of him through deception. Contrasting this terrible family behavior, the kids were taught the power of encouragement and caring for your neighbors, including family.

There was an excellent spirit at the altars as kids sought God's heart for others. We encourage parents to talk over this important lesson with your kids this week at home. Use the J-Team Family Field Ops page to do so. (We ran out of time to get to everything, so the kids may not be aware of everything it discusses, but parents can powerfully reinforce lessons simply by reviewing them at home. And nothing builds relationships at home like having family discussion and devotion times.)

3 Ideas for Good Communication

Learn How to Start
The way you present an issue often determines the response. Sometimes it’s best to address a problem immediately, while other times waiting a few hours is more appropriate. Wisely choose a time, place, and approach with the goal of not just rebuking, but correcting, and finding resolution. "Lisa, I'd like to talk about the way you treated me earlier. Is now a good time or should we talk after dinner?"

Learn When to Stop
Once a dialogue has developed, have discernment to know when to stop. Some parents feel like they must win an argument or come to resolution by the end of the conversation so they end up pushing too hard. Other times emotions get too involved. Still other parents end a simple correction with preaching, bringing up the past, or making exaggerated statements about the offense.

In any case, it’s important for parents to know when to take a break or simply stop the conversation. "I think we better stop here. Things are getting pretty tense. We need to continue this conversation, but let's take a break for now. Maybe we'll think of some other ideas in the meantime to help resolve this problem." Learning when to stop during conflict is a very important skill.

Learn How to Listen
Conflict represents opportunity. Children watch parents handle conflict and observe how they resolve differences. Listening and affirming a young person’s thinking is an honoring step in conflict management.

“I understand you'd discipline your sister differently. Your ideas make sense. At this point, I have to make the decision and I’m going to emphasize something different, but I appreciate your ideas.” Affirming or validating a child's thinking or reasoning is helpful for their development.

As you dialogue with your kids, you must learn to tolerate criticism. Many discussions you have will open the door for your teen to criticize you. Don't feel threatened or take these jabs personally. Use them to discuss issues and explain your decisions. If you can be transparent enough to use yourself as an example, your children will learn much more about life.


This parenting tip is taken from the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN. It's a book about honor and talks about how we treat one another inside and outside the family.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: New Animal Kingdom Director

I am pleased to announce that the Lord has called Shannon Siver to step up and fill the need for a Nursery Director! Shannon is very excited to be doing so and looks forward to meeting all of our dedicated Animal Kingdom volunteers. In fact, in our discussions about what is required of the position and needed most, Shannon expressed her desire to have regular meetings with the ladies around coffee and just get to know them. Shannon has an obvious love for babies and young children as well and we look forward to seeing her vision and ideas develop as she immerses herself in the nursery world!

If you have young children in the Animal Kingdom or are a volunteer on the schedule, be sure to greet Shannon when you see her and encourage her in this new position. You will all be seeing her around much more as she begins wrapping her arms around everything. Beginning this week, it will be Shannon making phone calls to remind people of their duty and she will be the one to contact for absence or if switching with someone on the schedule.

Check your e-mail box in the next day or so for her contact information or call the church office.

Another Family Week! Who are you getting together with?

It's family week again. We hope you have made plans to fellowship with another family. Remember, that's the spirit of Family Week: to spend time with other families or even get a bit more time with your own. We encourage you to make the most of this Wednesday night off. Do something special with your kids or have another family over. Consider doing an AWANA-AT-HOME fun night!

Enjoy your week and we'll see you this Sunday when the kids officially launch Core Value #3: Relationships in the C.W. Playhouse!

ENCOURAGEMENT: I trust you're kids are staying strong on their commitment to the Kid Vid Veto! We're half-way done already! 14 days to go!

Dear Parents... (Talk about Church with Your Kids)

The following is one part in a series of letters to Parents. All of it is meant with the most serious of intentions, and is not directed at any one parent. It is simply the writing of a man that has worked with children and their parents in a church setting for many years now.

Dear Parents,

You attend church, and all of us that work to prepare exciting environments for your children are thrilled that you do. It’s obvious to us that you value what the Body of Christ can bring to your life, and to your familie’s life by attending together. For that be commended. However, please allow me to humbly remind you that church attendance is only the first part of spiritually leading your family. This letter is written to encourage you to talk about your experience at church with your children. Do you ever ask what they really learned? Not just if they had fun (which is an equally valid question, just not the most important information to get from them.) Do you ever tell your kids what you learned? Do you ever think to fall back on what your kid has learned when the situation arises during the week?

Here what can happen if you fail to talk about what happened at church this weekend.

1. First, you can communicate that what we do at church is separate from the rest of our lives. // As parents we should be teaching our kids that God is the center of our lives and worthy of organizing all that we do around glorifying Him. But when we fail to talk about what happens at church, we are quietly telling them that what happens at church stays at church. This isn’t Vegas; it’s important to live out what we learn at church outside of the church walls! Work to destroy the walls between church attendance and real life.
2. Second, you’re telling them that you didn’t learn anything. // You did learn something right? You are grateful for your experience in worship, right? You should be learning something, or being encouraged in some way with each encounter (and if you’re not please talk to someone.) Share with your children what you are learning, and how thankful you are for what God has showed you.
3. Third, to not talk about church is to miss a key step in spiritually leading your children. // That’s a daunting phrase right there, isn’t it? “Spiritually leading your children.” Throw out all those images of nightly devotionals, and long family prayer services. You might get to that point eventually, but right now we are talking about just taking a small but deliberate next step toward nurturing their spirituality. When you fail to ask children what they’ve learned at church you are missing the easiest of easy times to talk to your kid about spiritual things. Take advantage of the awesome team of volunteers and leaders that teach your kids each weekend, and just use what they’ve already taught your children to start conversations. I bet some of them will even put things in your hands to help this happen!

It’s not too late to start talking with you kids today about what happened at church. Please don’t miss the opportunity that you have each time you attend church to start spiritual conversations at home with your children.

Sincerely,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Children’s Pastor

Jonathan Cliff is the Next Generations Pastor at Trinity Church in Lubbock, TX and leads a fantastic team that is committed to creating an intentional strategy for reaching the next generations of the church through Children’s Ministry, Student Ministry, and College Outreach.

Kindness Combat Training in the C.W. Playhouse! (Huge BGMC Offering Given on Sunday!)

Our kids experienced another excellent C.O.R.E. lesson this last Sunday with the J-Team as our Crack-Christian-Commando Unit taught the kids Kindness Combat! I hope you'll use the Family Field-Ops take-home page to discuss this important lesson with your kids this week and wrap up our month of focus on the Knowledge of God. This week, the lesson was taken from Genesis Chapter 26 and the account of Isaac dealing with his wicked neighbors, the Philistines, who kept filling in his water wells. Isaac "turned the other cheek" and lived the Golden Rule before Jesus even taught about it, proving that God's law of love was written on Isaac's heart and that he truly KNEW God. Do your kids understand this most difficult of teachings in the scripture? Be sure to talk to them about it and lead by example. You are a Kindness Combat Commando, Mom & Dad, and your kids are watching you!

SPECIAL NOTE!

This Sunday we also brought in a near-record BGMC monthly offering through our Buddy Barrels! We challenged the kids this month and they rose to it by giving $114.00!!! Way to go, Kids! That's the way to get us to our $3000 goal this year! Don't give up on the video fasting either! You can do it! Kids around the world are counting on your labors and sacrifice!

Dear Parents... (Church as Punishment...)

The following is one part in a series of letters to Parents. All of it is meant with the most serious of intentions, and is not directed at any one parent. It is simply the writing of a man that has worked with children and their parents in a church setting for many years now.

Dear Parents,

You love your kid. That much is obvious by your willingness to set rules and then hold your children to obedience to those rules. As a pastor to children, I commend your commitment to follow-up your parenting rules with consequences for disobedient actions. Consequences are good things.

However, suspending your child from church is not a good consequence. It sets the wrong precedent. Well-meaning as it is, for many reasons it is the wrong consequence. Obviously it’s a different scenario all together if your punishment is to suspend them from a lock-in, extracurricular activity, or other church-related activity. But when the church doors are open to teaching, mentoring, accountability, and the right kind of Godly relationships…please don’t keep your child from this as punishment.

This what I normally hear in the “witholding church as punishment” dialogue:

“[Insert Name] was not obedient at school this week, and so I told him he has to sit with me in the sanctuary. I know he really loves church, and I just couldn’t let him attend with all of this bad behavior recently.”

What is wrong with this statement? Here is what you are basically saying to them.

You aren’t good enough to go to church, and I will use the adult service as punishment for your crimes.

Why is this bad? It’s bad because you are telling you child a few things when you do this. You are telling them that:

1. Adult Worship service is boring and is a worthy punishment. // Your adult worship services may indeed be boring, and if they are I hope that you work to make sure that you find a place to worship that isn’t boring. When you use this strategy as a punishment, you are telling your kid that church is something to be “suffered through.” Why would you want to make that impression on your kids? That’s right, you wouldn’t.
2. Learning God’s Word is NOT something important. // I know, I know…you think this is crazy and believe that God’s Word is important. But when you deny your child the opportunity to learn God’s Word from godly people who have prepared all this week for the moment that your child would experience on their visit…you are communicating to your child that the lesson he would have learned is not valuable or life-changing.
3. God doesn’t want you when you’re disobedient. // This might be a stretch, but hang in there with me on this one. When you punish disobedience by witholding opportunities to learn about God, you are tying obedience/disobedience with God’s acceptance of us. Our Father in heaven has promised to forgive us of ALL confessed sin, and he has said that nothing will ever separate us from his love, and he has said that he has redeemed us from our past mistakes by sending his Son to pay the price for our sin. I say all that to say this…please be careful how you represent the most grace-giving, loving heavenly father in your discipline to your children.

I know that you love your kids, and you are trying to do your very best to lead them spiritually. But from your Children’s Pastor’s to your heart let me please remind you that there are many, many, many more creative consequences for disobedience. May I suggest suspension from television, video games, sporting events, after-school snacks, and I could go on and on and on?

Sincerely,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Children’s Pastor

Jonathan Cliff is the Next Generations Pastor at Trinity Church in Lubbock, TX.