BGMC Sunday & Ugly Tie Kick-off!

Last night we had a huge amount of Kid Vid Veto pledges turned in and nearly doubled how much we've taken in from our first BIG fundraiser!  So far we've brought in over $800 bringing our total for the year so far over $1,350!!  AWESOME!!  But we've still got $650 to go and that's probably about it for the Kid Vid Veto, so don't forget to keep filling those Buddy Barrels and don't forget to bring them this Sunday as we collect our regular monthly BGMC offering!

It's also time to start decorating ties for our next BGMC fundraiser!  We'll start collecting them over the next couple of weeks and start displaying them on Mother's Day for voting.  Remember, the way it works is that we put a Buddy Barrel next to each tie on the table in the church foyer and people vote for the tie they like best with money.  The tie that receives the most money will be worn on Graduation Sunday by Pastor Kevin!  Pastor Ron wears the 2nd place tie, then Pastor Nick and so on including the elders if need be.  We try to wear them all, but we need lots of ties to raise more money for missions so make sure you get one done!

We just got back from the District Summit and came home with a plaque for 10th biggest BGMC giver in the Wisconsin, Northern Michigan District at $2,234.09!  We can beat that this year and maybe make it into the top 5!  We're already more than half way there!

This Sunday in the Playhouse: Ehud's Secret Message!

As our series in the Old Testament Judges continues, we learn about our first two deliverers, Othniel and Ehud!  But of these two, Ehud has the more interesting story, so that will be our focus.  Make sure your kids don't miss it because there's a strong point in this little account that will benefit them if they pay attention.  Ehud had a special gift that others might have seen as a disability, but God used it to deliver His people!

We'll also have a few surprises this Sunday, including special guests and activities.  See you Sunday morning at 10:30am!

Purity Ring Ceremonies

A Purity ceremony is commonly known as the time when a purity ring is given and a vow of purity is taken. Most often when the vow of purity is made, God is, at least, acknowledged, if not included in the vow. Purity ceremonies are also known as and referred to as: a true love waits ceremony or an abstinence ceremony.

Personal Decision:
The most important aspect or part of a purity ceremony is the commitment and dedication of an individual to stay pure. The vow of purity needs to be a personal and individual decision. Those who take part in a purity ceremony need to be committed and dedicated to the vow they are taking. Teenagers should not participate in these ceremonies simply to please their parents. There is no point or reason for a teenager to participate in a purity ceremony if they are not planning on keeping their vow and staying pure until marriage.

Importance of Parents:
Parents play a vital role in purity ceremonies. Children need to have their parents present at these ceremonies. They need their parents support. The presentation of the purity ring (or item) by a parent, shows the parents support of their child’s decision. Parents should also make sure their child understands and is ready to make the vow of purity. Children need to know and understand the importance and weight of the vow they will be making.

Vows:
Vows of purity are taken during a purity ceremony in a public or private place. These vows are most often made or taken in early teenage years; however, there are many people that make or take their vow of purity when they are older. There are also many people (often in college or in their twenties) that will retake or remake their vow of purity. It helps them to re-commit, remember and renew their desire that they had to stay pure when they were a young teenager.

Types:
There are many different types of purity ceremonies. Some are very formal and elaborate, while others are very simple. There are no requirements other than a decision and/or vow to stay pure until marriage.

Purity Balls
Purity Balls are a very elegant and elaborate purity ceremony. It is elaborate in that it is symbolic of a wedding. A purity ball is thrown for daughters and their fathers. The daughters come dressed in beautiful gowns and the fathers come dressed in tuxedos. It is an evening full of dancing, cake, prayer and most important, the presenting of purity rings or other purity items, such as a necklace or bracelet, by the fathers to their daughters. Fathers make a vow and promise to protect their daughters and guard their virginity. As the fathers are making these vows and promises, they present a purity ring (or other item) to their daughters. These daughters are then under their fathers guard and protection until they are married and replace their purity ring with a wedding ring. The daughters promise their fathers that they will stay pure.

Purity Ceremonies
There are many different purity programs at local churches in which teenagers can enroll. These programs consist of several Bible study and relationship classes, followed by a purity ceremony (kind of like a graduation). At these purity ceremonies, the students make their vows of virginity and purity publicly in front of a congregation. As they do this, they are presented with a purity item, most often a ring. The item is presented to them by their parents or an adult guardian.

Other Purity Ceremonies
Purity ceremonies do not need to be formal. They can take place between just a parent and a child at home, at a restaurant, at a park or wherever. Sometimes purity ceremonies take place just between a boyfriend and a girlfriend; promising one another that they will be pure until marriage. Other times purity ceremonies will take place with a few witnesses present and a certificate is signed and presented after or during the ceremony. Purity ceremonies are simply for anyone who wants to stay pure.

It's DECORATE YOUR DIRECTOR NIGHT!!  Remind your kids to bring all kinds of fun stuff  with which to decorate their club director: hats, scarfs, jewelry, pins, armbands, belts, etc. etc. etc.  The only thing we ask is that everything your kids bring to decorate their leader be something they don't have to hold on to.  After all, though they are superheroes in many ways, they don't have more than two arms each.  So whatever the kids bring, make sure it can be WORN.  We'll see you at 6:15pm ready to have some fun!

Paper Airplane Theme Night at Awana!

TOMORROW NIGHT IN AWANA: PAPER AIRPLANES WILL FLY!!

Remind your kids to make and bring some paper airplanes to fly at Awana clubs tomorrow night! The games we play will use paper airplanes so you may want to even encourage them to bring several different kinds and backup planes since they tend to be fragile. In fact, we've invited some kids to bring extras to share. If your child is good at making paper airplanes it would be great if they bring 10 or 20 to share for the littler kids who don't know how to make one.

It'll be fun so don't miss out as we launch the month of April with another exciting Awana club night! The fun starts at 6:15pm as always! See you then!

Purity Rings

A purity ring can be simple or it can be fancy. It can be cheap or it can be expensive. It does not matter. A purity ring is a ring that represents a promise, vow, commitment or goal to abstain from sex until marriage. Purity rings are typically worn on the left ring finger. It is significant, in the fact that it is the same finger on which a wedding ring is worn. It is to remind an individual their desire and goal to abstain from sex until marriage. Once marriage takes place, the purity ring is removed and replaced with a wedding ring.

Purity rings (also known as chastity rings, or abstinence rings) originated in the United States in the 1990s among Christian-affiliated sexual abstinence groups. Wearing a purity ring is typically accompanied by a religious vow to practice abstinence until marriage.

David Bario, a reporter in the Chicago Tribune, Rutland Herald, and several other news websites wrote: "Under the Bush administration, organizations that promote abstinence and encourage teens to sign virginity pledges or wear purity rings have received federal grants. The Silver Ring Thing, a subsidiary of a Pennsylvania Evangelical Church, has received more than $1 million from the government to promote abstinence and to sell its rings in the United States and abroad." The ACLU of Massachusetts brought charges against this decision, because the Silver Ring program did not ensure its secularity and hence was ineligible for federal funding due to the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment. The settlement between the ACLU and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) says that any further similar applications of Silver Ring Thing must be reported to ACLU and closely scrutinized for separation of church and state.

History
Purity rings really got their start in the 1990s when the Bush administration began promoting safe sex and STD/STI prevention/protection.

“Under the Bush administration, organizations that [promoted] abstinence and [encouraged] teens to sign virginity pledges or wear purity rings have received federal grants. The Silver Ring Thing, a subsidiary of a Pennsylvania evangelical church, has received more than $1 million from the government to promote abstinence and to sell its rings in the United States and abroad.” ¹

What is a Purity Ring?
It can be simple or it can be fancy. It can be cheap or it can be expensive. It does not matter. A purity ring is a ring that represents a promise, vow, commitment or goal to abstain from sex until marriage. Purity rings are typically worn on the left ring finger. It is significant, in the fact that it is the same finger on which a wedding ring is worn. It is to remind an individual their desire and goal to abstain from sex until marriage. Once marriage takes place, the purity ring is removed and replaced with a wedding ring.

Promise Rings vs. Purity Rings
Purity rings are actually a type of promise ring. There are several different types of promise rings. Some are used to show commitment and affection to a significant other when engagement and/or marriage is not desired. While promise rings are used to show commitment to a significant other when engagement and/or marriage is desired.

Furthermore, promise rings are also used to make promises and commitments to ones self. This is where the purity rings come from. They are often used to make commitments to ones self to abstain from sex before marriage but can also be used to make commitments to others that you will abstain from sex before marriage.²

Who Wears Purity Rings?
Anyone can wear purity rings and anyone can purchase purity rings. In many cases, parents buy purity rings for their adolescents. However, there are also many young adults who buy purity rings for themselves. It has become more and more popular over the years among both, adolescents and young adults who have never had sex.

“Purity rings are also popular among “secondary virgins,” the abstinence movement’s name for people who have already had sex but have made a pledge to give it up until marriage.”³

Anyone can wear purity rings regardless of whether they have previously had sex or not. Wearing of a purity ring, is promising ones self that they (at least from that point on) will abstain from sex before marriage.

HERE COME THE JUDGES!!

A new series begins in the C.W. Playhouse this Sunday morning: Drudgery & Deliverance - Lessons from the Old Testament Judges! Your kids will join Joe Tipster and Amy Noveau for the weekly Promised Land Good News and learn what happens when we forsake God's laws and do what we THINK is right... a timely message for our current state of affairs. So don't let your kids miss out as we finish off Joshua and jump into the next exciting stage of Israel's history with biographies of famous individuals such as Gideon, Deborah, Samson, Samuel, and others!

Resurrection Family Service this Sunday!

Remember, we've switched Family Week around to coincide with the Easter/Spring Break holiday week, so this Sunday we'll be celebrating the Resurrection together with our families and this coming week is Family Week, so no Awana clubs on Wednesday.

Happy Resurrection Sunday and Spring Break, everyone!

Purple Robe Theme Night at Awana Tomorrow!

Tomorrow night is Purple Robe Theme night for Awana Clubs in remembrance of Jesus' death this Holy Week. Of course, Purple Robe night doesn't necessarily mean it has to be a robe, but any purple cloth will do, a scarf, bow, whatever. And if it's a bit more bluish or reddish, we'll still count it if they make an attempt. The idea is to wear something that reminds us of the garment of Christ that was gambled for by the Roman soldiers at the foot of his Cross.

Also, remind your kids to plan for outdoor games and dress warm enough, just in case.

Preventing Future Use - Restoring your Teen after Porn Use

by Rob Jackson

Principles, not personalities

Chances are this encounter will exacerbate personality differences already evident in the family, but parents and teen alike need to understand that this issue is not about personalities but about principles. Ideally, parents will have educated their children about the principles or core values that pertain to personal integrity. When these principles are violated, parents don't need to make this a personal issue, even though the wound will be highly personal.

Those who have not undertaken this core training will experience greater difficulty reaching the teen. Compounding the problem will be any moral lapse or habits that the teen witnesses in the parents' lives. It is extremely difficult to admonish a child for seeking out pornography if the parents have a few video cassettes they claim to be marital aids. Children are experts at sniffing out hypocrisy.

If parents are morally compromised in this situation, there are only a few choices they can make. They can either let the matter drop, thus resigning their teen to a cycle of pain, shame and addiction, or they can make the decision to eliminate those harmful aspects of their own lives and work toward bringing healing and restoration to the entire family.

Youth culture often counters parental values; adolescents may claim the right to express sexuality in whatever ways they desire. Without moral absolutes, they are prone to experimentation and believe that being true to one's self is the greater good.

Boundaries and accountability

The fact remains that parents are responsible to a large degree for their children and for what their children do. For example, when an adolescent violates one or more civil laws pertaining to sexual conduct, his parents will typically become involved in the court hearings as well. Taking up their moral responsibility, parents of teenage addicts will need to state clear boundaries so that the guidelines and consequences are obvious.

Sadly, simply stating clear moral guidelines won't change the heart of our children. Nevertheless, parents should be clear. Adolescents are to be accountable for their conduct, especially when trust has been violated.

Some initial guidelines for children would involve the types of media they are exposed to and the times and places of exposure. For example, parents would want to regulate Internet usage to specific times of the day or only when they are present. They may need specialized software to help them achieve these measures. Other restrictions could include limiting Internet use for homework purposes only and limiting TV viewing.

Heavy-handedness without appropriate ongoing communication and relationship can drive a teen further away from you and drive a continuation of his or her acting out.

The guidelines parents set should not be limited to media in the home. Considering the seriousness of your child's problem, guidelines should also be developed for conduct outside the household, with a signed agreement clearly stating consequences for infractions.

The reader can see how this could easily become a case of "parenting with an iron fist." These measures need to be moderated by your family's situation and your unique relationships. Above all, you must enter into these measures making sure that you are acting out of love and a motivation to help your child toward healing. Just as important, your child must perceive that you are acting with such a motivation. Heavy-handedness without appropriate ongoing communication and relationship can drive a teen further away from you and drive a continuation of his or her acting out.

Ideally, fathers should discuss these matters with sons, and mothers with daughters. Follow-up is important and, at least initially, these times of accountability may need to occur daily so that the teenage addict can check-in.

Safeguard other children

The most difficult question that can emerge is how to safeguard other children in the home. We want to think the best of our loved ones, regardless of age. It's hard to imagine that a family member may actually pose a hazard to another family member. Where sex addiction exists, however, a careful evaluation for risk factors is always warranted.

Understandably, parents will want to protect younger children from the knowledge that an older sibling is addicted to pornography or other sexual behaviors. In fact, many times, the younger children remain relatively innocent, and perhaps the parents have not yet initiated sex education. Nevertheless, there are times when parents will need to err on the side of caution, and share with younger children that an older sibling is in trouble sexually, and therefore, won't be left alone in their presence without parental supervision.

Every family situation differs in type and severity. For this reason, it's not possible to offer specific advice in a brief article. Fortunately, however, help and hope is available though Focus on the Family's Counseling Department. For a confidential assessment and referral to a specialist, call (800) 232-6459 weekdays 6:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. (Mountain Time).

Seek professional help

If your child struggles with pornography or act outs sexually in other ways, professional help will be critically important. Often, Christian parents seek the help of a pastor, a Sunday School teacher, or perhaps someone from school. While all of these people have key-support roles to play, most likely none are specialized in the treatment of sex abuse and/or addiction.

The specialist can equip you to know how to approach your child. You will also learn how to monitor the situation, and develop more or less support depending on your particular circumstances.

Just because your teenager seems to be addicted today to pornography does not mean that he or she must remain addicted tomorrow. Kids of all ages are incredible resilient, especially when their legitimate needs are being met in meaningful ways.

A reality check

If your teenager is diagnosed with sex addiction, it means this condition did not occur overnight. To some degree, there has been a progression that most likely dates back to the first time your child was exposed to pornography or some other form of sexual abuse.

Because our children are in various stages of development where some degree of sexual experimentation is likely, it can be difficult to pin down whether or not a serious problem actually exists. The secrecy that surrounds sexual sin also makes it difficult to detect what may be happening in the private lives of our children.

As we work to restore our children to sexual and spiritual health, we must understand the role intimacy takes in this process. Sex addiction is never really about sex, but about the void in one's spirit. Even when a teenager has a faith-based life in Christ, he or she will still be faced with quite a bit of sexual temptation. If he or she can develop self-control in this area, most likely self-control in other areas will follow.

In every case where self control abounds, we can express our heartfelt gratitude to God who loves our children even more than we do.

Copyright © 2004 Rob Jackson. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.