Autumn Colors Theme Night!

Theme night for Awana tomorrow is Autumn colors.  Remind the kids to wear reds and oranges and yellows and greens and maybe even some leaf patterns & other autumn patterns.

Bad Attitudes Are Automatic Responses

Attitudes can be good or bad and are inherently interwoven into everything we do. They often rest just below the surface and are sometimes difficult to read or understand in adults, let alone our children. Billions of dollars are spent each year to create or change attitudes in you toward certain products or activities. Furthermore, attitudes are highly contagious. As a parent, you know that children can develop a whole outlook on life based on the latest TV show or by spending time with a particular friend. Attitudes affect how we view life and respond to it.

Attitudes are a way of thinking about certain aspects of life. They actually have a purpose: to prepackage a response based on a history of other experiences similar to the current one. Attitudes help people understand the world and make sense of the things around them. They are necessary shortcuts and provide consistency and clarity for knowing how to respond to repeated events and situations. Without attitudes, you would have to reevaluate each person, food, and entertainment choice over and over again, making life unbearably complicated. Instead, your attitude prepares your posture and gives you a pattern of responses every time you see a familiar trigger.

One helpful way to address bad attitudes is to stop using the word "attitude." In many families it's overused and is just a trigger for conflict. You might use the words "automatic response" instead. "Bill, I’ve noticed that whenever I try to give you an instruction you have an automatic response of resistance." Or, "Tanya, it seems that you have an automatic response toward homework. We need to talk about that."

Helping children deal with bad attitudes is not easy and requires insight from parents into the hearts of their kids.

For more ideas about helping children with attitudes, read chapter 6 in Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

ATTENTION PARENTS!! We Need Your Help!

Remind your kids to get sponsors for their 25 day fast for BGMC!  We begin on Sunday and go through Thanksgiving!  If your kids don’t drink soda, that’s fine.  Have them fast some other treat that they take in regularly for those 25 days and ask people to sponsor them per day.  If your child REALLY struggles or doesn’t fully understand why we do this, get friends and family to sponsor them by the HOUR and only do it for a day or a week.  Feel free to adapt this fundraiser to your child.  In fact, if you let me know in advance what your child is fasting (within reason), and if they bring in at least $50 through sponsors, I will do my best to purchase that item (in a small amount) for them at the end of the 25 days and give it to them instead of a soda.  For instance, if your child fasts cookies for the 25 days, I will buy them a big cookie or a small pack of cookies as their reward!  But please let me know soon.  Those who do the soda will receive a free can of soda at the end, of course.  Awards will be given out at our big Family Thanksgiving service on November 27^th or the following Sunday.

(For the record, we have only raised a little over $100.00 this year and our year ends with the school year!  We really need the kids to step up to these challenges if we’re going to have any chance of making our goal of $1000.00.  If just 10 of our kids got 4 sponsors for $1 a day over the 25 days we would reach our goal with just this one fundraiser!  Encourage them to put a little work into it.  It’s important to teach our kids to work for something greater than themselves and to sacrifice for others.)

Light up the Darkness Theme Night Tomorrow Night at Awana Clubs!

Tomorrow night is Awana Clubs again and this week our theme requires a flashlight per kid and for more fun, neon, glow-in-the-dark clothes/trim/accessories!  Glow sticks work great for this night!  Make a head band out of them and bracelets and ear rings, etc.  While the world celebrates death, fear, and darkness, let’s celebrate life, love and light! 

The Value of Training

Every day you're training your children to become healthy responsible adults. Is it okay to get up and walk away in the middle of a meal? Is it acceptable to leave the table without helping to clean it up? Is it all right to eat without saying thank you to the one who prepared the meal? How will kids learn what's appropriate if you don't train them?

Unfortunately, as parents we get upset when our children need lots of correction or when they can't seem to change right away. It is true that some problems our children have take longer to overcome than others. Our response as parents is important, though. Our exasperation can damage the relationship. Firmness is important but the harshness can do more harm than good.

Kids make mistakes. Whether the errors are deliberate or accidental, children need a godly way to think in order to get back on track. Identify an issue you wish would change in one of your children. It might be arguing whenever you give an instruction or complaining when life doesn't go just right. Break the problem down and think of the alternatives you wish your child could do or think.

Talk about proper alternatives and look for positive ways to influence your child to maturity. You may have to use consequences to motivate change but don't neglect the potential of teaching new patterns of thinking, developing new skills, and giving children a vision for doing what's right.

Most of all, be patient. Training takes time and implies lots of work. You're a coach and your child is in training. Give your kids a vision for living life on a different level and they will grow into some great relating patterns.

For more ideas about working with a heart-based approach to parenting, consider Parenting is Heart Work by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

THIS SUNDAY!

Jesus is coming back!  The Bible tells us if we are watching, we will see signs of His returning.  We call that the rapture of the Church.  After the Rapture, Jesus will come to earth to rule as King for 1,000 years.  Satan will be bound, and there will be peace on earth at last.  But once the 1,000 years are complete, Satan will be loosed and will again deceive many people.  This will be Satan’s last battle against God and God’s people.

When the last battle has been won, those who do not have their names written in the Book of Life will be judged.  Those whose names are in the Book of Life will live forever with God.  Everyone on earth has the power to choose at which destination they want to end up.

This Sunday we wrap up our focus on the 16 Fundamental Truths through our Route 66 series and will make sure every child who shows up for Kids Church this Sunday is given the opportunity for salvation so that he or she can be ready for Jesus’ return and watch for Him in anticipation rather than fear!  

BGMC SUNDAY!!

Also remember to have your kids bring their Buddy Barrels this Sunday! 

It’s missions Sunday and we need to keep working on our $1000 goal for the year!

SPEAKING OF OUR $1000 GOAL…

It is time for another fundraiser! 

This Sunday, kids will be given sponsor forms for our 25 day soda (or other snack food) fast leading up to Thanksgiving Day!  They will want to start getting friends and relatives to sponsor them a little bit each day or hour so that their fasting counts for something!

Every child that participates for any length of time and turns in money that they collected at the end, will receive a free can of soda to enjoy after their long abstinence!

PLEASE NOTE:  The actual fast does not begin until NEXT SUNDAY so they have a week to start on those sponsors before they actually begin!

Christmas Program rehearsals begin NEXT SUNDAY

during the 10:30am service and after adult worship. 

Kids will be dismissed from adult service during the announcements if they are interested in participating this year.

PARENTING TIP

The Good Side of Anger

We’ve worked with many families, helping them deal with anger, both in children and adults. One of the first truths that we try to communicate is that anger is good for identifying problems but not good for solving them. Unfortunately, too many people don't understand anger's benefit and, as a result, end up feeling guilty about being angry, further complicating the emotional picture.

It's important to understand that anger is not good as a response to problems. It usually builds walls, increases tension, and contributes to distance in relationships. But we do believe that anger is good for identifying problems. Once you understand anger, you'll be able to use it to your advantage to point out problems in life. Then you must move into another mode or plan to solve those problems.

Ephesians 4:26 says, "In your anger do not sin." This verse is just one that tells us that there is an anger that isn't sinful.

One dad told us that when he began thinking about anger this way his anger became less intense, he was angry less often, and when he did get angry, he knew what to do about it. That is exactly what we're saying.

There are plenty of books on the market about managing anger and you can do a lot to calm your emotions but the anger control books don't solve the real problem – your kids keep doing the wrong things! If you begin to use anger to identify the problems and then develop healthy solutions to address them, you'll be using anger in a positive way.

Many parents have given up hope, believing that they have lost the battle with anger. They’re plagued with guilt about their emotions. Before you can improve your anger management or your children’s, you must first think rightly about anger. Anger is good for identifying problems but not good for solving them.

This parenting tip comes from the book Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

Awana Clubs tomorrow night at 6:15pm

NO THEME NIGHT!

Pastor Kevin & Aimee will be on Vacation so Mayme Johnson will be checking kids in & tallying scores for the night.  Please be patient with her.  It is a tall task to cover for Aimee with all the number crunching she does every week.  If there are any issues, please be patient and we will fix it when we return next Wednesday when our theme night will be the WILD WEST!

This Sunday!

As we go through life, our bodies often need repair.  We become sick or injured, or we suffer from emotional strains.  Sometimes we can seek help from human sources – doctors.  But many times we need the help only Jesus can give.

What amazing love Jesus showed when He died on the cross.  Not only did He provide salvation for our souls, but the Crucifixion also made a way to receive healing for our bodies.  The stripes Jesus endured were for our sicknesses.  Because of Jesus’ willingness to endure this for us, healing has been provided for us.

This week James will help the children understand that Jesus has power to heal and we need to have faith to believe in His power. 

A Practical Way to Teach Responsibility

Some children have a hard time doing anything without getting distracted. One mom, Heather, said, "When I tell my five-year-old son, James, to go get his shoes on because we've got to leave, he doesn't come back. When I go look, I find him sitting on the floor playing with his cars. And it's not just his shoes. Whenever I tell him to do something he gets sidetracked. I have to yell at him continually to get anything done."

Heather needs to use her frustration to identify the cause of the problem. James is easily distracted, but the deeper issue has to do with irresponsibility. Yes, he is only five years old, but James needs to learn to follow through with a job his mom gives him. This is the beginning of responsibility training.

Most children don't naturally feel an internal weight of responsibility. You can help develop it by watching your kids accomplish assignments and waiting for them to report back. Heather may say, "James, we've got to go so please get your shoes and bring them back to me. I'm going to wait right here in the doorway for you to report back."

As you wait, watch for distraction. At first James may need very close monitoring but as he realizes that he needs to report back and that Mom hasn't forgotten about the job, he will feel the pressure to accomplish the task. Children who need constant reminders lack the character quality of responsibility. They need closer supervision, smaller tasks, and more frequent times of checking in.

Even older children sometimes have a problem with irresponsibility. Yelling isn't necessary—more accountability is. It takes more work to wait or watch, but your investment now will give your children a valuable gift. Responsibility is the ability to complete a task even when no one is watching.

Responsibility training happens in a good instruction process. In Matthew 25, Jesus told a parable about three stewards who were given talents and the responsibility to invest them. Two of the stewards were faithful; one was not. God wants us to be faithful stewards and the roots of faithfulness are taught to children as you teach them to follow directions and report back.


For more on how to build a good Instruction Routine with your children, read the book, Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

THIS SUNDAY!

This Sunday we will give careful thought to the God-ordained reason for the Church’s existence: to evangelize the world, to worship God, and to encourage and equip Christians for ministry.

As one small part of this large Body of believers – each part with its individual and unique function – a Christian should train himself to keep his eyes on the “road” – keep focused on the Church’s twofold goal of equipping the saints for ministry and bringing the unsaved into the saving knowledge of Christ.

Children need to see themselves as important members of the team, ready when the call comes, to assist those who are hurting and broken down along the road of life or maybe just give them some encouragement, like fuel, to keep going on their path to heaven!  While Pastor Kevin will be teaching these next two doctrines (10-11) to the adults, James will help the kids see how they can contribute to the Church and its growth in God’s overall plan and why we need to respect our Pastors and teachers that God has appointed to lead us.

A Practical Way to Teach Values

Here's a practical and effective way to teach values in your family-explain the reasons behind your rules.

When you think of rules, you may just think of a list of do's and don'ts that you are trying to impress upon your children. Rules can be much more than that though. They can be used as the vehicle to communicate values to your children. When rules are implemented and used correctly, children will learn not only to say "Excuse me" before interrupting a conversation, but more importantly, they will learn to respect others and see the value of listening first before speaking.

Ask yourself why you require your five-year-old to stay in the yard or your teenager to check in regularly. These are safety issues and develop a sense of accountability to others.

Why do you tell your son to make his bed every day or your daughter to clean and vacuum her room on Saturday? It has to do with the value of neatness and self discipline. Take time to talk about the values, not just the rules. 

We all have values that we somehow wish our children would develop and take on as their own. As they grow, our children will evaluate our values and choose the ones they understand and can relate to. You have a window of opportunity with your children in which you can teach them the values that you embrace.

Rules are values put into action. They show children what values look like, how to put them into practice, and why they are important. If we want our children to embrace our values, we need to teach them what these values are and how to implement them in their lives. Rules become a good vehicle to teach children the things that are most important to us.

While you're pondering this idea, consider some of the reasons for the rules God has for his children. It's a good way to connect with the things that are most valuable to God and his family.

This idea was taken from the book, Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

ROAD WORK AHEAD: DOCTRINE #9 SANCTIFICATION

Historic Route 66 suffered its share of road construction when traffic on it grew too quickly.  At one point Route 66 had more detours than any other federal road.  But construction is necessary for keeping a road in drivable condition.

Constant improvement is also necessary in the life of a Christian.  God is constantly at work, changing us to be more like His Son as we yield our lives to Him.  God requires His children to live pure and holy lives.  He asks for separation from sin and dedication to holiness.  These are not achieved by self-accomplishment, but by God’s promised strength and power.  This Sunday we will encourage your children to yield themselves totally to God and let Him sanctify them, constructing them into the image of His Son.

Seven Habits of Unhappy Kids

APRIL 1, 2014 BY MARK HARPER 1 COMMENT

Unhappiness is a habit that starts early in life and continues into adulthood.

If we can teach our kids to recognize these unhappy habits and give them to tools they need to change it is good medicine for their soul.

“A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.”

Proverbs 17:22 (AMP)

1.  The Blame Game

Unhappy kids tend to blame others for their unhappiness.

Bad things happen to everybody, however good things happen to everybody too.

Happiness is a choice.

No one can make you happy. Only you can make you happy.

2. Negative Thoughts

Unhappy kids deal with negative thoughts on a constant basis.

Sometimes this is because negative words are spoken over them.

Other times they are comparing themselves to kids who are smarter or prettier.

Either way we can counter this by speaking positive words over them and using them in leadership roles at church.

3. Loneliness

I have noticed this problem getting worse over the years.

When kids get addicted to video games they don’t get the social interaction they need.

Many kids are not developing the social skills they need to be successful in life.

In the real world (no-virtual) there is a lot of truth in the statement, “It’s all about who you know.”

4. Hating School

This leads to hating their job when they become adults.

One of keys to a happy life is to find something you love to do and do it.

5. Anger

Anger is an emotion that we all experience, but it’s hard to be angry and happy at the same time.

Anger is a call to action.

When kids become angry at things they can’t control it sets them up for failure.

6. Complaining

We all need to vent sometimes, but when kids develop an habit of complaining it pushes people away.

No one wants to hang around someone who is always complaining.

7. Wanting More Things

One of the worst habits a child can develop is a sense of entitlement.

This is the attitude that the world owes me simply because I exist.

This is habit is reinforced in American culture because we communicate love by buying stuff for our kids.

One way to counter this is to teach our kids to be givers.

There you have it, “The Top Seven Habits of Unhappy Kids”.

IT’S AWANA CLUB NIGHT AGAIN… TONIGHT AT 6:15PM!!

This is it!!  Remember to bring in all your aluminum cans for bgmc tonight!!

(or the money you’ve already collected for them!)

CANS FOR C.H.R.I.S.T.!

This is your last chance to bring in cans!

Remember to bring in cans that have been thoroughly emptied and in sealed bags so they’re not leaking all over the church!

IF YOU DON’T BRING CANS TONIGHT, THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO TURN THEM IN YOURSELF AND JUST BRING IN THE MONEY! 

BRING IN those CANS!!

IN THE NAME OF THE CHILD How American parenting is killing the American marriage

Sometime between when we were children and when we had children of our own, parenthood became a religion in America. As with many religions, complete unthinking devotion is required from its practitioners. Nothing in life is allowed to be more important than our children, and we must never speak a disloyal word about our relationships with our offspring. Children always come first. We accept this premise so reflexively today that we forget that it was not always so.

In our recently published book, Sacred Cows, we took on our society’s nonsensical but deeply ingrained beliefs surrounding marriage and divorce. We often get asked whether we will next address the sacred cows of modern parenting, at which point we ask the speaker to please lower his voice, and we look nervously over our shoulders to make sure that nobody has overheard the question.

To understand the frightening power of the parenthood religion, one need look no further than the 2005 essay in The New York Times by Ayelet Waldman, where the author explained that she loved her husband more than her four children. On “Oprah Where Are They Now,” the author recently reaffirmed the sentiments reflected in her New York Times article, and she added that her outlook has had a positive impact on her children by giving them a sense of security in their parents’ relationship. Following the publication of her essay, Waldman was not only shouted down by America for being a bad mother; strangers threatened her physically and told her that they would report her to child protective services. This is not how a civil society conducts open-minded discourse. This is how a religion persecutes a heretic.

1

The origins of the parenthood religion are obscure, but one of its first manifestations may have been the “baby on board” placards that became popular in the mid-1980s. Nobody would have placed such a sign on a car if it were not already understood by society that the life of a human achieves its peak value at birth and declines thereafter. A toddler is almost as precious as a baby, but a teenager less so, and by the time that baby turns fifty, it seems that nobody cares much anymore if someone crashes into her car. You don’t see a lot of vehicles with placards that read, “Middle-aged accountant on board.”

Another sign of the parenthood religion is that it has become totally unacceptable in our culture to say anything bad about our children, let alone admit that we don’t like them all of the time. We are allowed to say bad things about our spouses, our parents, our aunts and uncles, but try saying, “My kid doesn’t have a lot of friends because she’s not a super likable person,” and see how fast you get dropped from the PTA.

When people choose to have children, they play a lottery. Children have the same range of positive and negative characteristics as adults, and the personalities of some children are poorly matched with those of their parents. Nature has protected children against such a circumstance by endowing them with irresistible cuteness early on, and by ensuring that parents bond with children sufficiently strongly that our cave-dwelling ancestors didn’t push their offspring out in a snowbank when they misbehaved. Much as parents love their children and have their best interests at heart, however, they don’t always like them. That guy at the office who everyone thinks is a jerk was a kid once upon a time, and there’s a pretty good chance that his parents also noticed that he could be a jerk. They just weren’t allowed to say so.

Of course, Ayelet Waldman’s blasphemy was not admitting that her kids were less than completely wonderful, only that she loved her husband more than them. This falls into the category of thou-shalt-have-no-other-gods-before-me. As with many religious crimes, judgment is not applied evenly across the sexes. Mothers must devote themselves to their children above anyone or anything else, but many wives would be offended if their husbands said, “You’re pretty great, but my love for you will never hold a candle to the love I have for John Junior.”

Mothers are also holy in a way that fathers are not expected to be. Mothers live in a clean, cheerful world filled with primary colors and children’s songs, and they don’t think about sex. A father could admit to desiring his wife without seeming like a distracted parent, but society is not as willing to cut Ms. Waldman that same slack. It is unseemly for a mother to enjoy pleasures that don’t involve her children.

There are doubtless benefits that come from elevating parenthood to the status of a religion, but there are obvious pitfalls as well. Parents who do not feel free to express their feelings honestly are less likely to resolve problems at home. Children who are raised to believe that they are the center of the universe have a tough time when their special status erodes as they approach adulthood. Most troubling of all, couples who live entirely child-centric lives can lose touch with one another to the point where they have nothing left to say to one another when the kids leave home.

In the 21st century, most Americans marry for love. We choose partners who we hope will be our soulmates for life. When children come along, we believe that we can press pause on the soulmate narrative, because parenthood has become our new priority and religion. We raise our children as best we can, and we know that we have succeeded if they leave us, going out into the world to find partners and have children of their own. Once our gods have left us, we try to pick up the pieces of our long neglected marriages and find new purpose. Is it surprising that divorce rates are rising fastest for new empty nesters? Perhaps it is time that we gave the parenthood religion a second thought.

The Holy Spirit, Our GPS! Doctrines #7&8: Baptism in the Holy Spirit and the Initial Physical Evidence of Speaking in Tongues!

This Sunday!

As Pentecostals, we believe the Pentecostal experience is available to all believers.  However, if children have no scriptural basis for this belief, they may be hesitant or defensive when confronted with questions or ridicule from non-Pentecostals.  Instead of being able to explain the reasons why they believe as they do, kids with only a vague knowledge of the term Pentecostal may be confused and silent about this experience.  This Sunday we are going to help them to understand that the Holy Spirit is given to us as a Companion to give us help and strength for witnessing.

This week as we look at Doctrines #7 & 8 we will help our kids develop a biblical perspective of the Pentecostal experience.  This lesson can, not only prepare your children to answer questions about the baptism in the Holy Spirit but, lay a foundation that will help them as they desire and receive this glorious experience for themselves.

And then to wrap everything up, they can go straight from getting saved and filled into the adult service for water baptisms!  We have a couple of our kids following Christ in obedience through water baptism.  It’s going to be an awesome Sunday!

CANS FOR CHRIST!

Time to turn those collected cans in for $$

You can either collect them, crush them and take them into the recycle place yourself and then turn in the money, or bring in your bags of cans by NEXT WEDNESDAY AT

 and PK will make a huge delivery to the place and collect the money for missions ON THURSDAY! 

Congrats to the Clubbers of the Month!

Some Kids Drain Energy Out of Family Life

Some children have the ability to suck the energy right out of family life. These children are demanding of your time, need a lot of correction, and seem to be magnets for conflict. They are often emotionally explosive but almost always drain the energy out of parents and other family members. Unfortunately then, these children develop a negative view of themselves based on the high amount of negative feedback they receive.

One solution is to teach them to add energy back into family life. We use the term "honor" to describe the process of thinking of others above yourself. If Jack seems to get people riled up each afternoon before dinner, set an appointment with him at 4:00 pm for several days in a row and ask him to look for three things he can do to add to family life. He may decorate the dinner table, encourage his brother, or prepare something nice for Dad's arrival home.

If Jack continually antagonizes his sister, tell him that he needs to think of three nice things to do for her before he can go on with family life. Don’t tell him exactly what he needs to do. If you decide what Jack needs to do and tell him to do it, that's obedience. When Jack chooses, that's honor. Honor treats people as special and does more than what's expected. Jack needs to learn how to add energy to family life instead of taking it away. Challenging children in this way helps them to think differently.

Teens need to learn honor because it will make them more effective in life. Hidden within honor are the secret ingredients that make people more successful in relationships. Teaching honor is worth the work, because honor changes people.

This idea comes from the 13-week children's program called, The Kids Honor Club, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. It contains Bible stories, activities, crafts, and games to raise the awareness level of honor in your family. Just watch what happens to your kids as they learn to develop honor in their lives in fun ways. This material is great for a church children's program or even for an individual family.

THIS SUNDAY!!

Jesus instituted the ordinance of communion as an act of remembrance.  When we take communion, we are to look back to what Jesus had done for us by His death on the cross.  But communion is also a time of looking forward as we anticipate His return.  “For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” 1 Corinthians 11:26 (This week’s memory verse.)

In this week’s lesson we will be teaching the connection between the first Passover and our Communion celebration – that Jesus is our Passover Lamb.  We will help your children realize that before taking communion, we must first examine our lives, acknowledge and repent of any sins, and ask God’s forgiveness.  Only then do we eat the bread and drink the juice in remembrance and in honor of the great sacrifice Jesus made in dying for us.  We will start the process (that we hope you will continue to discuss with your kids) and encourage them not to take Communion lightly but to partake by first seeking forgiveness and then remembering how much Jesus suffered to provide our freedom from sin. 

How to Talk to Your Kids about Sex

How do you talk to kids about sex?

No parent looks forward to this conversation, and many Christian parents have their heads in the sand.

They tend to put this conversation until it’s too late, which can be dangerous.

If parents aren’t talking to their kids about sex, then they are getting information from other sources.

The problem is that many parents don’t know how to approach this topic with their children.

What age should you talk to kids about sex?

What should you do and what should you not do when talking with children about sex?

Those questions and many more go through the minds of parents.

Here are the points covered in the Purity for Parents class:

1) Don’t wait until your kids start puberty to talk to them about sex. If you do, they will be too embarrassed to talk to. You need to have this conversation with your children when they are 10 years old. My suggestion is for fathers to go out of town for a weekend with their son. Make a father/son bonding time and at some point have the “sex talk”. Mothers need to do the same thing with their daughters.  (If you are a single parent, talk about it with them as much as you can, but then ask another relative of the same gender that you trust to talk to them, maybe a grand-parent or Aunt or Uncle or a close family friend that you absolutely trust.  They need to have this conversation with someone responsible before their peers and media expose them to misinformation! - PK)

2) Talk about how their bodies are going to change during puberty and how they will begin to like girls. Talk about how babies are created and that they need to wait until they are married to have sex.

3) Teach your kids that sex is God’s idea. God created Adam and put him in this amazing garden. Adam wakes up one day and sees a naked woman. Adam’s immediate response is “WO-man!” (He liked what he saw.) God told Adam. “Be fruitful and multiply.” God is telling Adam to have sex with Eve and to make babies.

4) Teach your kids about boundaries. Establishing healthy boundaries is the best thing you can to do to give your children the ability to make wise choices. The truth is you cannot make you kids not have sex. If they want to have sex they will find a way. Your goal is to influence them that it is in their best interest to wait until marriage. The most basic boundary word is the word “no”. Allow your kids to say “no” sometimes. If you always make your kids say “yes” you will teach them to say “yes’ to everyone.

5) Read the Bible. The Bible has a lot to say about sex. During family devotions read scriptures from time to time that deal with sexual issues. Ask questions and let your kids ask question.

6) Keep the communication lines open! Don’t freak out if your daughter tells you that she likes a boy. You want your kids to talk with you about their feelings.

7) Watch what you let yourself watch. If you are watching sexually explicit movies your kids will do the same thing. Children learn by imitating others, but they imitate their parents more than anyone else. Make no mistake about it. Your kids will do what you do.  (Do not underestimate the power of curiosity also!!  If you allow your kids to be exposed to heavy kissing and romantic movies that they don’t fully understand, you can very quickly create a desire to know what comes next which can lead to exploration and experimentation with others or virtually that you may not find out about until it is too late and they are addicted or worse! – PK)

8) Your plan needs to change as your kids grow.

• Ages 1 – 7 – Protect their innocence. Answer their questions but don’t give them ideas. (Many parents never graduate from this stage.)

• Ages 8 – 9 – Read Bible stories that directly deal with sexual issues. Ask you children if they have any questions. Here are some good scriptures to read: Proverbs 6:20 – 35, Proverbs 7:1-27, 2 Samuel 11 – 13

• Ages 10 -11 – Have “the talk” with your kids.

• Ages 12 and up – Listen more and talk less. Keep communication lines open.

Sin had entered the world, and death through sin.  All must die because all have sinned.  But Jesus, the Son of God, took the punishment of sin for us.  He who did not deserve to die, died in our place.  He was buried, but then rose again to a new life.  Now we, who deserve the punishment of death for our sins, can also rise again to a new life if we put our faith in Jesus Christ.

We no longer need to fear death for we have already died – to sin and to our old nature.  Now we live a life pleasing to God for He has washed our sins away.  So we follow Christ in the practice of water baptism.  Water baptism does not cleanse us from sin like a car wash cleans your car from dirt, but it is an outward sign of the cleansing that has already taken place in our spirits.  Through Christ we are made clean.  Now we are buried with Him through baptism and we rise again.  Each time a Christian practices water baptism he is telling the Christ story to all who are watching.  This week, we will encourage your children to follow the Lord in water baptism, especially if they are in the upper grades. 

We hope that if you have kids that are old enough you will encourage them as well to be a part of the water baptism service coming up at the end of the month.  If they show interest, talk to Pastor Kevin this week.

CANS FOR CHRIST HAS BEGUN!

Talk to your kids about collecting aluminum cans for BGMC!

You can either collect them, crush them and take them into the recycle place yourself and then turn in the money, or bring in your bags of cans at the end of the month and PK will make a huge delivery to the place and collect the money for missions at the end of the month after it’s over.  

We raised $77.00 last Sunday at the car show!

PK & Aimee did their part, now you’ve got to get out and do yours.  Collect those CANS!!

Getting Kids to Listen without Yelling

When we teach parents to avoid responding to their children in anger we get a common reaction: "But my kids won't obey unless I get angry."

And you're probably right, but only because you've taught your children to wait until you're angry before they have to obey. You give your kids cues to know when you mean business. Those cues tell your child that it's time to respond because your action point is coming next.

There is a definite connection between action point and anger. Many parents use the energy from anger to finally take action. When parents learn to tighten up their action point, then they don't have to use anger as the motivator. In fact, anger can often be a flag that your action point isn't tight enough.

If you find that you're relying on anger to motivate your children, then it's time to make a change. First, though, you need to develop a new plan. What signals do you want to use to indicate that it's time to clean up, or it's time to go? Maybe you'll use the child's name, obtain eye contact, and use the word "now" in the instruction.

When you're ready to make the change, talk with your children. Explain that you have been wrong in teaching them to wait until you get angry before they start obeying. From now on you are going to tell them once, then comes the action. If your child doesn't respond to the new cues then move right to your follow through.

    You may use a warning at first as your children are learning to respond to new cues. This helps them see that you mean business, but don't add several warnings or you defeat the purpose. Develop a routine with your kids so that they know when discussion or delays are over and obedience is required.

    We don't encourage parents to always demand obedience. Children also learn from negotiation, compromise, and cooperation, but there is a time for children to respond whether they like it or not. Your kids need to know when that is and clarifying your action point will help them learn it.


This parenting tip comes from Chapter 1 in the book Home Improvement, the Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.