The Newsletter Blog for Parents at Prayer House Assembly of God. Keeping parents informed on current events and information concerning C.H.R.I.S.T WORKS Kids Ministries and providing parenting tips for all ages.
Wednesday night at Awana we handed out Pop-Out sponsor forms and kids made a commitment to fast soda (or other junk foods) from November 1st to Thanksgiving. We'll be doing this same thing this Sunday morning with any kids that weren't here on Wednesday. We encourage you to help your kids get some sponsors to give them a dime a nickel or dime a day for the 21 days that they sacrifice. This is another fundraiser for BGMC to help us toward our goal of $3,000 this year. We're only at about $2,000 so we've got a considerable distance to go and only 2 months left to raise it. This is our last push so we hope everyone will participate and see that gap shrink.
To receive the can of soda on Nov. 23rd, kids have to show us their sponsor sheet with at least 5 names on it (turning in money with it is a bonus, but we'll give them more time after that to collect and that won't stop them from getting their soda can with their name on it).
And remind your kids that this is ultimately for the kingdom of God, not for a cheap can of soda. We want our kids to understand that we give and sacrifice for God's glory and for people to hear the truth unto salvation, right? Amen!
See you Sunday as we look at Commandment #7: Do not commit adultery! (We'll be focusing on loyalty and keeping promises on an age-appropriate level for this one.)
Steps to help you communicate understanding to your child to help her navigate negative feelings.
by Veola Vasquez
The key to helping your child feel understood is to acknowledge his feelings. Follow these steps to get more in tune with your child:
Label the feeling: For younger children, the simpler label you offer the better. Use words like mad, happy, sad and scared. For older children, more specific words help them to pinpoint the exact emotion: disappointed, worried and embarrassed.
State the reason for the feeling. Make your best guess as to why your child feels as he does. For example, say, "It looks like you're mad because Mom said you can't have dessert today."
Don't judge your child. Your child needs to know that it is okay to express emotion. However, at times you may need to teach your child how to express his feelings in ways that are healthy and not hurtful to others.
Do's and Don'ts
Do's:
Support your child. Give physical support (hugs, kisses) and verbal support by acknowledging your child's feelings.
Help your child understand why she is upset. Help her to connect feelings with experiences. Ask open-ended questions about what caused the anger, sadness, fear, etc.
Give your child space. She may need to be taken out of the upsetting situation briefly to find a way to calm down.
Encourage your child to use words to express her feelings. These should be words used to describe what your child feels rather than words used to hurt others.
Teach your child empathy. When your child is angry or sad, remind her that others often feel the same way. Help her think of ways she might help someone if they were feeling the same emotion. She will develop empathy for others and may find ways to help herself in the process.
Don'ts:
Don't try to fix it all. Allow your child to find ways to problem-solve and calm herself. She may need time to figure out the best way to do so.
Don't bribe your child to get her to stop feeling upset. You don't want to short-circuit your child's experience. She needs to learn how to manage her feelings over the long term.
Don't distract your child from her feelings. By acting as if nothing has happened or avoiding negative feelings, we prevent children from learning how to deal with them properly.
Don't punish your child. Scolding a child for experiencing negative feelings will not only make her feel worse but it will discourage her from having those feelings — or being open about them. Instead of discouraging the experience of these emotions, it is crucial to encourage the proper expression of them.
Don't allow your child to hurt others with their negative feelings. Children can say insulting things and, at times, physically hurt others when upset. Teach your child that it is never okay to harm others.
Yesterday, the CW Playhouse focused on Commandment #6: You shall not murder in a lesson called DROP YOUR WEAPONS! Reddy Recruit illustrated the point in her usual clueless manner and Dr. Quirky made a surprise visit with a failed experiment that got him pretty hot under the collar and poor Blinky the penguin paid the price, illustrating how much anger hurts. We had an excellent altar response as we dealt with the anger and unforgiveness that leads to murder when its left for years.
As always, we encourage you to talk to your kids about the week's lesson and reinforce it with them. See if they can tell you what they learned, go over the take-home activity sheet they were given. It is always our desire to partner with parents by providing resources and opportunities, not take the place of parents. And if you have questions, call the office and talk to Pastor Kevin. We're here for you!
Validating our children is so important. A wonderful way to do this is giving them a blessing ceremony. It’s almost like a coming of age or a right of passage celebration. Recently, a friend of mine held a blessing ceremony for his son…
Here’s some more helpful information:
Introduction
For tens of thousands of years, in many countries and cultures throughout the world, rites of passage have been an important part of human culture. A rite of passage is a ritual or ceremony that marks a change in a person’s social status. There are ceremonies in many cultures that memorialize the birth of a child, puberty, graduation, engagement, marriage, death, and other stages of life. In our western culture, while we still celebrate marriage through a wedding ceremony and observe death through a funeral, we lack a generally accepted rite of passage from childhood into adulthood. This rite of passage that occurs around the time of puberty is sometimes called a “blessing.”
What is a blessing?
The Hebrew word for “to bless” is baruch. Baruch means “a good word.” When we bless our child, we are placing our “seal of approval” upon them and giving them power to prosper in many areas of life, including in marriage, with children, in finances, health and career.
Why do children need the blessing of their parents?
A ceremonial blessing is an act of the parents recognizing the passage of a son or daughter emotionally and spiritually into manhood or womanhood. It helps to establish their identity and purpose as an adult.
Establishing identity answers the question, “Who am I?”
Establishing purpose answers the question, “What am I here for?” Additionally, when we release our children into this new season in life, we are also releasing them to take on more responsibility and decision-making. There is something inside every child that makes him crave for a blessing from his parents. And without that blessing, many people spend a lifetime searching for identity and purpose in life. They are always trying to prove themselves worthy to their mom or dad. They are constantly seeking attention, affirmation, and acceptance–in all of the wrong places. They are often striving to prove their manhood or womanhood to themselves and to others through their sexual encounters, the way they dress, their work, the money they make, or by attempting daring feats.
Is it right to bless a rebellious, misbehaving child?
Yes. We need to separate identity and behavior. Remember, when we bless a child, we are giving them power to prosper in life, not condoning rebellion and disobedience. We are blessing them for who they are–a child of God created with infinite value, dignity and worth–not for what they do.
When does the parental blessing occur? It should probably occur sometime between the ages of 12 and 15, depending on the emotional maturity of the child. One sign will be when the child starts to take an interest in the opposite sex and begins to lose an interest in childish things. Another clear sign is when a child reaches puberty.
How does a parent bless his child?
Weddings. Graduations. Award banquets. We remember those occasions, in part, because they were sealed by a ceremony and a celebration. Ceremonies often drive a stake in the ground memorializing a season or time in one’s life. Memorable ceremonies do three things:
1. Ascribe Value. They say to the person being honored, “You are important.” “This occasion is important.”
2. Employ Symbols. A ring, a pen, a necklace, a plaque, a certificate all provide recognition of the significance of an event.
3. Launch a New Season in Life. They say, in essence, “from this day forward, things are going to be different.” And they do it with celebration.
What should be the format of the ceremony?
The ceremony for the blessing can come in all shapes and sizes. It can be conducted in a home, church or even a private room in a restaurant. Invite family members, pastor, and friends you wish to come. Here is an example that you can use to create your own ceremony for your child.
The Blessing of [child's full name]
Welcome and invocation by the mother, father, or minister.
Introduction by mother or father. What is a blessing and what is it for?
Mother prays for her child.
Father (grandfather, Uncle, mentor) blesses the child [See Sample Blessing].
Father presents the ring or necklace to the child as a symbol of the blessing.
Other family members and friends present speak about the child.
Celebration feast!
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What should a blessing say? You can say anything you’d like that imparts a “good word” to your child. Here is just one sample. The Blessing of [child's full name] [Child's name], you are my [daughter, son], whom I love; with you I am well pleased. You are no longer a little [girl, boy] You are now a [woman, man]. You are well equipped with everything you need to fulfill your destiny as a [woman, man] of God. Before the foundation of the earth, God Almighty planned for your life and planned for you to be a [woman, man]. Psalm 139 says that He created your inmost being. He knit you together in your mother’s womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. All the days ordained for you were written by God even before you were born. There is nothing that you will ever need to do to become a [woman, man] because God has made you one. Tonight, we are simply recognizing publicly what God has done in you. [Child's name], [Here, name all of the wonderful attributes and character traits of your child. For example, for your daughter you might say something like, "God has made you intelligent--you have a strong mind. God has made you beautiful. I've also noticed since the time you were a little girl that our Lord has given you a great ability to understand right and wrong, good and evil. You are able to quickly read and understand people. You get along with everyone and are well-respected and well thought of by others, young and old alike. You are a leader and have used your leadership skills to make wise decisions concerning your friends and in many other areas of your life." I am beyond joyful that God has given you to our family as a gift. You are a wonderful [daughter, son]. I love you and bless you with the promises of God. You are His and have been set apart from the world for his Holy purposes. I bless you with God’s everlasting love, wisdom, peace, and joy. I bless you with sexual purity, marital fidelity, and many children of your own. May God continue to keep His hand of favor and prosper you in all that you do, and may you serve our Lord Jesus Christ all the days of your life. Amen. [Present ring, necklace or other symbol of the blessing.] [Start celebration and feast!]
This Sunday morning, the troops will be learning Army Regulation (Commandment) #5. Pastor Kevin and team will be teaching the meaning of the word Honor as it applies to parents and authorities. We've got skits and activities planned for this exciting lesson, as well as visits from your kids' favorite crazy characters, so don't let them miss this week!
A very important skill that children will need as adults is the ability to listen. Listening isn't easy. Most people would rather talk. Children interrupt, yell, and talk over each other, often resulting in misunderstanding. Teaching children how to listen can be a way to help them become less selfish.
One mom told how she taught her children to listen. "I use this technique whenever my boys are in conflict over a toy. I sit them down with the toy on the table and say, 'You can play with the toy as soon as you both agree on a plan.' I encourage them each to share an idea and listen to the other's idea.
I teach them about compromise, working together, and sharing, but I let them work it out. Sometimes they'll both be stubborn and I'll have them stay there until they can agree on a plan. I coach them along when they need it. They must always report back to me before continuing to play, providing an opportunity for me to affirm unselfishness and cooperation."
It can be fun to teach a five-year-old how to persuade a two-year-old, or help two eight-year-olds negotiate a solution. Conflict is turned into cooperation through listening.
I (Scott) like to joke with children, "Do you know why God made lips for your mouth but not for your ears?" or, "Why do you think God gave you one mouth and two ears? It's because God wants you to quiet your mouth sometimes, so you can listen."
James 1:19 gives children very practical advice. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." As a parent, you have many opportunities to teach this valuable skill.
The long and grueling Family Week is over and it's back to Awana with all of it's excitement and incredible fun learning! The fun begins at 6:30pm! We look forward to seeing your clubbers there fully uniformed with handbooks and Bibles in hand and hopefully a friend in tow! We've already experienced record numbers of kids this year and are burgeoning at the seems in our classrooms, but that's AWESOME!! So keep 'em coming and let's kick off the month of October with extra excitement tonight!
One great way to challenge the sibling conflict problems in a household is to play games with your children. Games are miniature scenarios about real life. Whether you're playing a board game, a card game, or some kind of communication or role playing game, children have to use relational skills.
Playing games can teach children how to win, how to lose, how to show mercy, and how to talk humbly. As you play games with your children, model honor. Have fun and enjoy the game but avoid put downs, bragging, boasting, hurtful revenge, and meanness. That seems to be hard even for some parents these days.
Teach children how to win without being hurtful, how to lose without complaining, how to make a good move with humility, and show honor whether you're winning or losing. Kids need to see these things modeled in games so they can learn how to handle similar situations in life.
Choose your comments wisely as you correct or confront others who may not handle themselves well. You may let some things go, but your comments are important and children learn from the things you say.
You may see selfishness and bad attitudes demonstrate themselves. Look for loving ways to correct while still enjoying the game. Play games regularly and continue to look for ways to communicate honor and challenge dishonoring behavior and words. You'll be surprised at how much you can teach without your children even realizing they're in a classroom.
