MEASLES THEME NIGHT!

Tonight's theme night at Awana clubs is MEASLES NIGHT! No, we're not saying only those kids who have the measles can come. Tonight, we will be engaging in a little friendly competition between clubs instead of color teams! For every section a clubber finishes tonight, we will put a red dot on their club director's face giving them a mild or serious case of measles. Then at the end of the night we'll compare and see which club produces the "sickest" leader! :D

It'll be fun! Come out and be a part of it starting at 6:15pm!

Recent Pictures from the CW Playhouse Sundays

During our new series on the conquest of the promised land by Joshua, Pastor Kevin made use of his miniature war game hobby to create a small-scale model of a section of what the wall of Jericho may have looked like illustrating to the kids the size and thickness of the walls of this immense ancient city confronting the children of Israel.

It was believed that the walls were so think that chariots could race along the top around the perimeter of the city.
Notice the red ribbon in a small window on the side of the wall representing Rahab's house where the Hebrew spies were hidden.
The drawback was that PKs collection was multi-cultural and multi-historical so the Levitical priests carrying the Ark of the Covenant look a bit oriental.
The kids really got into this model, getting an idea, not only of the thickness of the walls, but the probable height. Without God's supernatural help, there's no way the Israelites could have taken this mighty city.

The week before, we taught about the crossing of the Jordan river and thankfulness to God illustrated by the Israelites as they entered the promised land and celebrated God's provisions.
Jesus is our Super Hero... YEAH!
The kids collected rocks from the riverbed of the Jordan and decorated them to show something they were thankful for... thus the tables.

Advice for Parents of Teen Porn Addicts

When faced with their teen's struggle, most parents don't know where to begin to get the helps he or she needs.

by Rob Jackson

With the advent of the Internet, parents are finding it increasingly difficult to shield their children from pornography. Now, in addition to the exposure kids might encounter from classmates who borrowed one of their father's magazines, most school-age children and adolescents are spending large amounts of time online for homework or entertainment reasons. Attorney General John Ashcroft has estimated that nine in ten teens have been exposed to pornography. Unfortunately, many of these teens are susceptible to developing addictions or compulsions to these images.

The term "addict" may seem severe. Most parents will initially minimize the problem, hoping their son or daughter is simply "experimenting." Experience has taught me that, in many cases, at least one of the parents will have faced similar struggles when he or she was younger. Today, however, Internet pornography is the fast ramp to sex addiction. Coupled with a greater moral decay in the culture and the fact that children's minds are still are still in the process of developing to maturity, addiction can happen quicker than we parents like to think.With the advent of the Internet, parents are finding it increasingly difficult to shield their children from pornography. Now, in addition to the exposure kids might encounter from classmates who borrowed one of their father's magazines, most school-age children and adolescents are spending large amounts of time online for homework or entertainment reasons. Attorney General John Ashcroft has estimated that nine in ten teens have been exposed to pornography. Unfortunately, many of these teens are susceptible to developing addictions or compulsions to these images.

Not long ago, I was a guest on Focus on the Family's teen call-in radio show Life on the Edge Live! During the hour, several adolescents called in to discuss sexual integrity. Even having previously treated adolescent addicts, I was surprised that the first four callers identified themselves as sex addicts – three of which were females.

My own practice and experiences such as those on the call-in show demonstrate that the problems of teenage pornography and sex addictions are real, devastating, and increasing. When faced with their teen's struggle, most parents don't know where to begin to get their child the help he or she needs.

Taking ownership

In many situations, the first reaction is to determine who is to blame within the family. It is important to realize, however, that bad things still happen to good families. This does not absolve certain parties from taking responsibility where it is needed. Everyone needs to take ownership of his or her piece of the puzzle.

For example, parents need to ask if they have provided a comprehensive sex education that truly equipped their child with the winsome truth expounded in the Bible. Setting proper foundations for understanding a Christian sexual ethic is a crucial step in protecting children from later sexual disorder.

Parents will also want to re-evaluate the types and amounts of media they have allowed in the home. People tend to absorb the messages that bombard them in popular media; more so with teens and young children. What have your children been listening to and watching? Is their media reinforcing respectful messages about sexuality and the dignity of the person, or is it working to erode these foundational principles in your child's mind?

Another often-overlooked problem is the sad reality of sex abuse. Most sex addicts have suffered sexual abuse at some point in their lives, and treatment of sex abuse is foundational to overcoming sex addiction.

The adolescent addict also has areas of responsibility. Has he or she been honest about the sexual struggles? Have there been other excesses like alcohol or drugs? Has a peer or perhaps an adult been a bad influence? Most important of all, has the adolescent made a full disclosure to his parents so that the family can become equipped to deal with sex addiction?

Parents need to realize that their teen is likely suffering from extreme shame and embarrassment. Authoritarian dictates are not likely to encourage your child to open up and share the extent of his or her struggles. Compassionate love and understanding, such as Jesus demonstrated to the woman caught in adultery, is likely to help your child feel safe enough to disclose the full story.

Many families will already have experienced serious communication breakdown with their teens. How parents approach their teen in this situation will likely determine whether unhealthy patterns of communications will continue to disrupt and frustrate the relationship or whether a new foundation of openness, trust, and safety can be built and sustained throughout the struggle.

What to expect

Parents will need to remind themselves that they are often prone to minimizing what they know or suspect to be the truth. Parents also need to realize the resistance they will encounter from their teen. Most addicts, regardless of age, will deny their struggle. They may even shift the blame and become verbally aggressive. Others may agree immediately that they have sinned or hurt others, and promise too quickly that they will never do it again. Getting caught hardly changes the heart.

Of course, it's to be expected that everyone will feel awkward, maybe even embarrassed. Regardless of the discomfort, however, when there is evidence of illicit sexual behavior and possible addiction, parents have to take the lead.

Copyright © 2004 Rob Jackson. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

Inside Out Theme Night at Awana Clubs Tonight.

Remember to wear your uniforms inside out tonight for extra credit for your color team! In fact, have some fun with this, wear your shoes on the wrong feet and wear your pants inside out too! Why not? Just keep the inner-wear inside and the outer wear outside! :D

You know, you could even go the next step and wear your clothes backwards like these kids in the picture above! Have fun with it... as long as it's modest and appropriate!

See you tonight!

How to Respond When Your Child is Exposed to Pornography

Here are questions to ask as you evaluate your child's exposure to pornography.

by Rob Jackson

Was this my child's first exposure?

It will also be important to learn if this was his first exposure to pornography. The frequency of exposure matters, as a child becomes increasingly desensitized over time. As desensitization occurs, a child typically begins to seek a greater frequency of pornography, and a harder or more severe quality. Greater frequency and a shift to hard-core pornography are indicators that the brain has begun to seek more stimulation, which can lead to addiction.

If you learn that your child has developed a habit of viewing pornography, it will be important to seek the services of a specialist who is trained to facilitate recovery.

Just exactly what did my child see?

What types of pornography did he see? Sadly, with the Internet a child can be exposed to a wide range of sexual perversions in seconds. If your child has an e-mail address, chances are he or she is being exposed to pornographic e-mail. One recent study found that 47 percent of school-aged children received porn spam on a daily basis. This study also found that as many as one in five children open the spam they receive.¹ It will be important to learn about the types of pornography that your child viewed. For example, was the pornography heterosexual or homosexual? Was it limited to body parts or did it include sex acts? Was sexual violence a part of the pornography, and did it include bestiality?

Many parents will seek the help of a therapist at this point. Wisely, they want to safeguard their roles as parents, and avoid harming the relationship by making the teen feel interrogated or ashamed as they ask such difficult questions. The therapist can also delicately approach the job of ascertaining to what extent he or she has been exposed to more severe types of pornography, without inadvertently planting ideas the teen has never even imagined.

Regardless of what was viewed, it will be more important to rehabilitate your child than to merely correct or punish him.

How can you prevent future occurrences?

Frankly, there is no guarantee that even the best parent can prevent his child's exposure to pornography. As with parents of any age or culture, we seek to do the best we can with the resources we have. Should another incident occur, it will be another teachable moment where you restate the precepts and principles that guide us toward wholeness.

Fortunately, the probability of future occurrences can be diminished by taking a four-pronged approach.

Behavioral. Behavioral approaches attempt to prevent a scenario from developing in the first place. The house and grounds, for example, should be purged of all pornography. Media should be carefully screened for "triggers" that serve as gateways to acting-out. If the problem occurred with the Internet, a filter can be one of your strategies, although it can never replace parental supervision and involvement.² Other common-sense approaches include moving the computer to the family room where others can easily view the screen, limiting the time on the computer so that no one is alone on the Internet, and developing a mission statement that directs the family's the use of the computer and the Internet.

Cognitive. Pornography is propaganda and generates destructive myths about sexuality. Once exposed, it will be critically important that a comprehensive sex education gets underway, if it has not already been initiated. The child will need to learn what and how to think about sexuality. More than mere behaviors, parents will want to communicate the core values of sexuality, the multifaceted risks of sex outside of marriage, and their ongoing compassion for what it must be like to grow up in this culture.

Emotive. Sex is inherently emotional. Premarital sex has even been linked with codependency, where at least one person becomes compelled or addicted to be in relationship with another. The youth culture would lead you to believe that sex is not necessarily emotional for them – don't you believe it. Sexual relations of any type bond the bodies, minds, and spirits of two individuals. At the conscious level, this attachment is largely emotional. Our children need to understand that emotional attachment is often involuntary, and especially when the relationship has been compromised sexually.

Spiritual. At its core, sexual integrity comes down to a spiritual commitment. The Christian message of how Christ loves His bride, the Church, is our inspiration. The prohibitions and consequences of sexual sin are secondary to the intimacy that one experiences in obedience to God. Our children need to see how our lives are different because of His love. With confidence, we can share with them that God's true love will empower them to avoid the trap of pornography.

Has your child's exposure to pornography triggered you?

A child's exposure to pornography often triggers a parent's unresolved issues. It may be that a mom will be reminded of sex abuse in her past, or a father will be reminded of his own struggles with pornography and other sexual sins. Because these kinds of memories can be painful, coping with a child's exposure to pornography can become even more difficult. For these reasons, family therapy may be particularly helpful.

A final thought

If we really believe that sin is a powerful barrier between our child and God, we will move past a mere "sin management" approach to mentor them into a loving relationship with us and, more importantly, with Him. Wherever pornography or sexual sin is found, whether in the lives of our children or in our own, we can surrender ourselves and those we love to the greater care and compassion of our Father. His purity remains and cleanses us.

Copyright © 2004 Rob Jackson. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

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¹"Symantec survey reveals more than 80 percent of children using e-mail receive inappropriate spam daily," Business Wire, June 9, 2003.

²Internet filters are effective, but not perfect. For children and adolescents, a combination of a filter and an accountability web application like Covenant Eyes is better. If one willfully and repeatedly attempts to get around a filtered Internet, the computer is like a "Skinner box" which actually reinforces the compulsion to find more pornography.

AWANA THEMES: Sparkies - Firefly Night; T&T - Hero Night!

Awana clubs resume tomorrow night and we will be reversing the theme nights from last week!

SPARKIES: Firefly (flashlight) Night!! Bring a flashlight for special game night in the dark and other lights-out activities and lessons!

T&T CLUBS: Hero (Parents) Night!! We're inviting parents/guardians and mentors who are meaningful in the lives of our clubbers to join us for an exciting night if club activities and games! Heroes will even get to join in the game time so wear a good pair of tennis shoes!

When Children View Pornography

by Rob Jackson

Today's child lives in a culture where hard-core pornography abounds. Our children are being seduced daily, and we need to bear this fact in mind whenever we have the occasion to redirect them away from pornography.No healthy parent wants to think about his child viewing pornography, but it often happens. Some researchers have stated that the average age of exposure to pornography is down to 8. Before the days of the Internet, children were typically between the ages of 11 to 13 when they began by viewing soft-core pornography found in magazines like Playboy.

It is also extremely important that parents not direct all their efforts toward their sons at the expense of their daughters. Pornography and other sexualized media can adversely affect girls as well as boys and often leads to significant damage in their ability to form healthy relationships as an adult.

The goal

We want to be intentional parents. It's our privilege and responsibility to educate them about sexuality. We want to begin early, and continue throughout their time with us in the home.

The ultimate goal for our children's sexuality is that they will be able to see the dynamic interplay between sexuality and spirituality. As Christians, we want to help them understand, for example, that sexual intercourse is an act of love shared between a husband and wife. This sacred act symbolizes the spiritual union that will occur between Christ and His bride, the Church, upon His return to earth. We hope our sons will see themselves as a type of Christ as they relate to their wives, and that our daughters will see themselves as a type of the church as they relate to their husbands. What we model today in our marriages will likely reproduce itself in our children's marriages.

By helping our children to see the big picture about the sanctity of sex, we are better prepared to confront the problem of pornography when and if it occurs in our children's lives.

Do you and your spouse share the same core values?

Ideally, parents will share the same core values that promote sexual purity. This unity will facilitate your child's recovery. On the other hand, if a child's parents are divided about pornography, that child's rehabilitation will be more difficult.

A child's repetitive involvement with pornography can be a symptom of an unhappy home. Once the child's issues begin to surface, his parents may benefit from marital therapy if they continue to be at odds on pornography in general or fail to agree on how to facilitate their child's recovery.

Before you start beating yourself up, however, any exposure to pornography can harm children—even otherwise healthy children. The point here is not to blame parents but to help them identify any problems that may be negatively affecting their children's understanding of sexuality or recovery

Did my child view pornography intentionally?

I'm convinced that children are victims of a covert form of sexual abuse¹ whenever they are confronted with sexually provocative materials. With this in mind, our children need us to be healthy advocates for their well-being – even if we must confront their willful exposure to porn.

If a child has been found with pornography, it's important to not jump to conclusions. A harsh, impulsive interrogation will most likely just shut down your child. An unhealthy shame often leads to more acting-out with pornography.

You will want to learn how your child found pornography. For example, did someone introduce your child to pornography? Mental health professionals recognize the power differential that occurs as result of age, and if the person who introduced the pornography was older by three or four years, it constitutes a type of sex abuse.² These incidents should be reported to local authorities.

Copyright © 2004 Rob Jackson. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

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¹Sex abuse can occur without physical touch. The brain is the most important organ that responds to sexual stimulation.

²Sex abuse can be distinguished from child play whenever the power differential of three or four years of age exists between the two children. The older child will be more experienced and sophisticated, while the younger child will be more vulnerable and naive.

BGMC FAMILY WEEK THIS SUNDAY!!

It's Family Week, but not just ANY Family Week! This Sunday, Bill and Cheryl Gray will be with us sharing their hearts for kids in the inner city and their ministry in Mobile, Alabama. To make it even more special we thought it would be fun to take a special BGMC offering for their ministry since they are missionaries Prayer House supports. So remind your kids that this Sunday it will be boys vs girls for the HEAVIEST bucket of money in what we're calling "Lost Change for Lost Souls." We'll bring out the Buddy Barrel scale and see which one is heaviest so have your kids search everywhere for that loose change around the house in furniture, car seats, floors, and even on the sidewalks and bring it Sunday!

By the way, have you checked out how much the kids have raised toward our goal already this year just to the right of this article under the picture of the Buddy Barrel? We're jamming!

Looking forward to worshiping side by side with our kids this Sunday!

Teach Children What to Do Next Time

Don't you feel like some days you have to discipline kids for the same things over and over again? The child who has a problem hitting, interrupting, or just being annoying to others may need a lot of correction.

It's these problems that are great candidates for a Positive Conclusion. Each time the negative behavior takes place, have the child take a short break and then come back to you for a debriefing. During that conversation, one of the questions should be, "What are you going to do differently next time?"

When you ask this question your child has to state the right response back to you. If Bill is frustrated with his brother Jack and responds by arguing or saying unkind things or grabbing, the right response is to talk constructively about the problem. If you continue to discipline Bill for these wrong responses and he continues to verbalize that the right response is to talk about it, eventually he is able to catch himself sooner and talk to Jack about the problem without using the negative behaviors. This takes time and repeated discipline sessions, but children learn by repetition and frequent, gently reminders.

Sometimes children don't know what they should have done differently. In fact, some parents are so used to telling their children what not to do, that they, themselves, haven’t even thought about what the right response should be. Sometimes the solutions are not easy. That's all the more reason to use this question with children. Both parent and child can brainstorm about alternatives to unwanted behavior.

By communicating the right response to you verbally, your child will learn to see the difference and begin to change.

If you'd like to know more about developing a good correction plan for your child learn more about ending discipline times well in our book, Home Improvement, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.