NFL Theme Night tonight at Awana Clubs!

Remind your kids to come tonight wearing their favorite Football team colors and paraphernalia!  Tell them to wear their favorite jersey, cap, sweat-pants, CHEESE HEAD, whatever they’ve got that’s related to their favorite teams!  (Please no live animal mascots! J)  PK will be sporting his Colts cap!  See you tonight at 6:15pm!

10 Ways to Teach Your Children that It's Not All About Them

New York Times columnist David Brooks recently cited a survey of young people, most of which said they would prefer to be Justin Bieber’s personal assistant rather than the President of Harvard. Brooks pointed out that their choice was a sign of the times. Our popular culture sets a higher priority on fame (or proximity to it) than on service to others. Sad.

But we can train our children to be different, to derive satisfaction from helping others thrive while being perfectly content to play a background role. To shoo the fleeting nature of fame and embrace the eternal principle of the last being first and the first being last. Here are 10 Ways to Teach Your Children it’s Not All about Them:
1. Self-absorption eventually saturates everyone around you.
   If you have a “me-first” attitude, chances are your children will as well.   Instead of immediately going for the easy chair after work, ask your wife if there is something you can do for her before unwinding. When your children see you putting others first, they’ll follow suit. 
2. Honor those who serve you.
   Acknowledge your restaurant server with a smile and polite word of encouragement.  Tip generously.  Treat the cashier at the grocery store with kindness even if he or she has made a mistake and has to re-check a few items. When your children see that you value those who perform less than glamorous tasks, they will begin to respect others regardless of position and place less value on the station one holds in life.
3. Discuss the value of hard work.
   When your children admire someone in the limelight, take time to talk about how much work goes into developing a talent or skill.  It can be as simple as, “You know, it takes years of hard work to be able to sing like that.”  Or a question, “Do you think it’s more important to be famous than it is to do the best you can with the gifts you’ve been given?” This will help your children begin to recognize the value of hard work versus cheap fame.
4. Follow through with actions.
   When your children show compassion toward those less fortunate, do everything possible within the bounds of age-appropriateness to follow through with an action.  If your children bring up the idea of helping the homeless, call a local shelter or ministry and set up an opportunity to serve.  Again, if you put a premium on people over position, your children will as well.
5. Make volunteering a family affair.
   It may not be as fun as a trip to the beach or a night out at the movies, but you might be surprised at what a great time you can have serving together. Ask your church, a local charity, or a civic organization for ways you can help. The benefit? You’ll draw your children’s attention to the idea that there is more to life than limousines and the latest fashions.
6. Point out good role models.
   alk with your children about people who are famous for doing great good.  You may think of someone like Mother Teresa of Calcutta or Pediatric Neurosurgeon, Ben Carson.  Ask your kids at dinner, “Who is more worthy of recognition—Martin Luther King Jr. or Justin Bieber?”
7. Take advantage of teachable moments.
   The next time a celebrity’s mishaps end up plastered all over the web, television, and tabloids, use that opportunity to discuss the disconnect between fame and contentment. Just be sure to do so without being mean-spirited or holier-than-thou.  Another great question at dinner, “If fame and money are everything they’re cracked up to be, why do you think this happened?”  Or,” After hearing about ________, what do you think the difference is between talent and character?”
8. Love your children for who they are.
   Make sure your children know that you love and value them regardless of whether or not they are talented, popular, or stunningly beautiful.  Tell them so repeatedly, especially after a lost ball game, an embarrassing moment at school, or other disappointment that is small in your world but looms large in theirs.  Many who pursue fame or undue recognition do so in an effort to fill a void of perceived insignificance, a sense of being unloved, loneliness, or a desire to be acknowledged.
9. Praise your children.
   Be careful not to honor shortcuts, cheating, or success that comes at the expense of others.  While we applaud our children’s accomplishments, we shouldn’t do so insincerely or indiscriminately.  If your child hits a dribbler to the shortstop, praise him for running hard to first base even though he was called out. But don’t make him out to be Babe Ruth unless he really does knock it out of the park.
10. Live in a way worth emulating.
    At an early age, expose your children to role models who have achieved notoriety based on character, hard work, and real achievement.  When your children know what is genuinely worthy of recognition, they won’t be so quick to go for the counterfeit. 
    
    
    
    
    

This Sunday: The Lord of the Kings Finale!

This Sunday we wrap up our special one month series based on the Lord of the Rings books!  And it promises to be a proper finale with the most powerful message of the series.  Your kids will be challenged and hopefully woken up to their own priorities and loves.  Are your kids ready for the Return of the King?  That is the question.  And we'll ask them that question this Sunday.  Of course, we'll have fun while we learn as always so don't let your kids miss this Sunday!

10 Ways to Teach Your Children to be Brave

The definition of brave is having courage; valor. Synonyms include intrepidity, fearlessness, boldness, daring, prowess, heroism, pluck, audacity, nerve, mettle and spunk. Those are all certainly words we would love associated with our children. However, what is the essence of bravery? What is that certain quality we want to instill in our children that will make them brave when others cower? We will attempt to break that down in these 10 ways:
1. Set the Example
   We talk often here about how the eyes of our children are always on us. That applies here most definitely. Our kids’ prime examples of bravery are most likely going to come from you. Allow them to witness you stepping out of your comfort zones. If you are terrified of rollercoasters, face your fear with them and ride that monster at the park. Maybe you are afraid dancing makes you look like an idiot. Take dance classes with your wife and prove that notion wrong. When those moments happen when your character is tested in front of your child, show them the strength you possess to do the right thing. We are tested in a vast variety of ways daily. Be their hero.
2. Invoke Culture and Heritage
   It is nearly impossible to complete a brave act without a reason for doing so. Our various cultures and our rich heritage provide the foundation for what we believe. “Son, you are a Thompson and we have a long history of standing on the side of justice.” When we invoke family pride in that manner, we are invoking the heritage of our people and our nation. Teaching children their history and where they come from gives them the base they require to display courage and righteousness.
3. Challenging and Praising
   We naturally want to protect our children at all times. However, we also must challenge them constantly to try new things and to do things they might fear. Trying new food, speaking in front of the class, or playing a sport are some examples. When they step up and do these type of things, be sure to give ample praise and love. Build on their courageous attempts.
4. Point Out Real Life Role Models
   When we think of heroes, we think of soldiers, fire fighters or police men and women. They all can certainly provide many examples of courage and valor. Go even further by giving them brave quotes from people in all walks of life. Such as this quote from actress Mary Tyler Moore that states, “You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” Perhaps you have a white board or chalkboard in your home. A weekly quote such as this for all to read is a great way to get developing mind thinking in the right direction.
5. Develop the Courage to Reach Out
   Young children are very accepting of almost anyone. Eventually however, as is human nature, cliques will form and social groups will stick in the same patterns. Those that are “different” often wind up left out. Brave kids, the type of people that become adults that we desperately need in society, will step outside of the boundaries of peer pressures. They will reach out to that child who is sitting alone in the lunch room. Encourage and befriend the child burdened with a handicap. In the world our children live in daily, this is perhaps the strongest form of bravery. Wouldn’t you be proud if it was your child who was that brave soul who dared to share good will towards every one they encounter?
6. Building Confidence and Conviction
   Proper parenting insists that we build and nourish confidence within our children. While parenting styles may vary, this is a constant truth. Confidence regarding courage stems from deep belief in knowing what is right and what is wrong. From that platform, acts of bravery come forth. “All the strength and force of man comes from his faith in things unseen. He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions.” – James Freeman Clarke.
7. Differentiating When Violence Meets Bravery
   When we consider bravery, most envision some sort of physical encounter. Standing up to a bully. Coming to the aid of a friend in harm’s way. This is when logic meets courage and, in most cases, logic should win the battle. For instance, the passengers of the doomed flight over Pennsylvania on 9/11 that made the decision to charge the hijackers displayed great courage as well as great logic. That act was meeting violence with violence for a just cause. They died with noble hearts. The opposite is true when we commit acts of violence in the name of bravery that logic otherwise deems to be stupidity. The trick here is to teach your child when it’s called for to be physically brave. Teach them righteous justice.
8. Role Play
   Get creative. Television is mostly mind mush, so instead of sitting in front of it watching something that is teaching your child improper behavior, instead create your own live action dramas. Come up with different scenarios involving potential acts of bravery and courage. Doing this will help your child learn the nuances of how to react and give them great experience to draw upon when needed in real life. It also sounds like a whole lot of fun for the entire family.
9. Constant Communication
   There are no stats to prove this, but it could be contended that 99% of all problems could be solved with a little common sense and real and honest communication. Talk to your child constantly and openly. Share with him things that happened to you at his age and how you dealt with them. Encourage him and create an environment where he feels safe to share the important things going on his private life. If your child can openly talk to you about his problems, then you are able to help him come up with real solutions. Courage is basically wisdom, and much can be gained just by talking.
10. Spiritual Foundation
    Our Creator has given us all the tools we need to be great human beings. Since that is the case, then within every living soul lies a brave heart. Give your child a solid and life lasting spiritual foundation. From within God’s Word is everything he will need to know about courage and bravery.
    
    
    All Pro Dads

Color Team Night at Awana Clubs Tomorrow!

Last week kids were assigned new color teams to try and balance out points and attendance, so to help them get used to their new color team and build some excitement for the changes, we're kicking off our 2013 Theme Nights with a focus on COLOR TEAMS!  So make sure your child knows which color team they are on now and come dressed from head to foot in only that color... under their uniforms, of course!

A Budding Leader

The early signs of a budding leader are often things like determination, resourcefulness, and persistence. Unfortunately, some children demonstrate these qualities in ways that create conflict and resistance. They often argue relentlessly, have their own agenda, are stubborn, and expect others to do what they want. Budding leaders are often known for their ability to see how others, including parents, should fit into their goals and objectives. Although those qualities will serve them well over time, the lack of maturity and character often makes these children difficult to work with.

Sometimes called “strong-willed” kids, these children must learn the basics of good leadership. For example, all good leaders need to learn how to follow. They also need to learn to consider the desires of the people they’d like to lead. Determined children benefit from strong-willed parents who can teach them important life skills. That doesn’t mean facing off with your child with anger. It means training your child to have the good qualities necessary to be a strong and thoughtful leader instead of a tyrant.

Trying to teach his disciples about good leadership, Jesus told them in Matthew 20:25-26, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.” Several qualities must be part of a child’s life in order for strong leadership to be a positive asset.

Give your child a vision for his strengths by discussing the leadership traits you see. You might say, “I can tell that you’re going to be a leader someday. You have courage and strength. Sometimes though, I see that you misuse those qualities and they appear more like stubbornness or defiance. I’m going to be looking for ways to help you bring more balance to your leadership so that you can be most effective as you grow and develop.”

Look for ways to make the boundaries clear. Leaders sometimes cross the line of what’s appropriate in order to get their way. You’ll realize this because you feel violated or angry. Don’t use your anger to solve the problem, but rather use it as an indicator that your child has strayed beyond what’s appropriate in relationships. In the same way that a car stays in the lane in order to be successful on the road, there are certain limits to a child’s initiative and determination. Violation of the relational “lane lines” often appears to other people as being overbearing, rude, inconsiderate, demanding, and stubborn.

When you see that your child has crossed the line and is being demanding, use the situation as a teaching opportunity. Children often don’t understand where the lines are and some are unskilled at picking up on social cues. Take time to teach your child where the line is and develop the missing sensitivity to social cues.

Parenting a child with a strong-will is challenging. It requires a great deal of commitment and intentionality. Setting up clear boundaries for your child will help create a sense of stability and training as you move through day-to-day routines. It’s important to find situations where you can encourage your child’s strengths. Remember that God can use your child’s determination and strong will to do a mighty work in his kingdom, and he has chosen you to help mold your child’s heart along the way.

This parenting tip is taken from the book, Elementary Foundations, Parenting Wisdom for Ages 5-8 by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN with Shannon Kulp..

THIS SUNDAY: The Two Choices! Lesson 3 in the Lord of the Kings Series!

This Sunday we've got a couple of surprises in store for the kids as we teach them about the 2 choices we all face in life... the choice between the kingdom of God and the kingdom of this world.  And using the illustration of Treebeard the "Tree-man" from the Lord of the Rings we will also illustrate the truth that there is NO MIDDLE GROUND on this Middle-Earth!  As Joshua put it to the Israelites, "Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve... but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord!"  You're kids will be faced with that decision this Sunday.  Talk to them about it and pray for them and us as we bring this important lesson... with the help of a few surprise guests!

10 Life Skills for Teaching Your Kids the Excellence Edge

One of your most important tasks as a parent  is to teach your children skills that will help them excel in life. According to Vicki Caruana's book, Giving Your Child the Excellence Edge, parents play an integral part in determining if their children will succeed—not only in school, but in their future careers and relationships as well.
Caruana provides ten key strategies to help your children lead productive, fulfilling lives.
1. Teach Your Children to Become Quality Producers
   Quality involves taking a competency or skill and improving on it. Teach your kids the importance of doing above what is expected. For example, if a teacher requires the minimum of two pages for a report, your child should submit at least two and a half. Or if your child's weekly chore is to take out the kitchen garbage, encourage him to find other trash cans around the house that need emptying.
   One family asks their children to give 110% in everything they do.  When the kids rise to the occasion, and give that extra effort, the parents reward them.  You can use the 110% example too.  Draw a thermometer with percent increments marked down the side, one for 25%, 50%, 75% and 100%.  Talk about what it means to perform at each level.  Then, write in 110%, so they can clearly see that this means going above and beyond.
2. Teach Your Children to Become Independent Learners
   Teach your children how to be self-directed and to think for themselves. Encourage them to set academic and personal goals and to monitor their own progress.
   And, even though it can be hard to allow your children to fail, do not bail them out if they've forgotten to do a school project or paper, or if they've procrastinated until the last minute.  They need to learn responsibility and the consequences for their inaction.  The sooner they learn this lesson the better—the consequences are much less significant at the elementary level than they are at the high school level, where grades can affect their ability to get into college.  
3. Teach Your Children to Become Creative Thinkers
   According to Caruana, "Creativity is the power of the imagination." Creative thinkers are able to define and solve a problem by evaluating choices and considering possible outcomes. Teach your children how to creatively solve problems by having them
   - define the problem
   - evaluate the possible solutions
   - develop a plan of action
   - adjust the plan when necessary.
4. Teach Your Children to Become Critical Thinkers
   Discernment and reasoning play a large part in critical thinking. One way to raise critical thinkers is to encourage your children to apply the scientific method to daily problems. For example, in determining the best way to walk to school, your kids would first state the question, form a hypothesis (i.e. Elm Street to Maple Street is best), test it through experimentation (timing how long that route takes) and then draw conclusions.
5. Teach Your Children to Become Information Managers
   Children need to know how to find information for themselves, whether through a phone book, a dictionary, the encyclopedia or on the Internet. They also need to know how to evaluate, store and use this information. For example, if your child has multiple projects for school, he could use file folders to store his notes for each project.
6. Teach Your Children to Become Cooperative Learners
   Cooperative learners participate in group learning experiences; are helpful to fellow students; they can negotiate with a balance of assertiveness, consideration and flexibility; and show patience with those who do not learn as quickly as they do. Essentially, these students get along well with their fellow classmates. In your home, be sure to instill this important lesson by teaching and modeling respect for others.
7. Teach Your Children to Become Effective Communicators
   Make sure your children understand the concept of tone, and that the way something is said can be just as important as what is said. A good communicator also focuses on respectful listening. Caruana suggests teaching your kids how to sit still and listen by having them listen to books on tape. Start at 5 minutes a day and gradually work up to 30 minutes per sitting.
8. Teach Your Children to Become Confident Leaders
   Confident leaders know how to listen to the opinions of others, are comfortable in their leadership style and have a defined vision. Be sure to model good leadership in your home and to always treat others with respect.
9. Teach Your Children to Become Efficient Time Managers
   Help your children create a timeline with goals for completing tasks on time instead of waiting until the last minute. Teach your children the value of being prompt and set consequences if they run late for school. Use your children's chores to teach them about deadlines. Make sure your children are also effectively using their free time by engaging in a variety of activities (i.e. reading, playing outdoors) instead of just sitting in front of the television or computer.
10. Teach Your Children to Become Self-Assessors
    Self-assessment skills will help your children know and improve on their weaknesses and build their strengths. They may find journaling helpful in identifying areas in which they struggle. Have occasional parent/child conferences during the school year to check on their progress and to help your children identify areas needing improvement.
    This article is based on the book Giving Your Child the Excellence Edge by Vicki Caruana.

NOW PLAYING IN THE C.W. PLAYHOUSE!

 THIS SUNDAY: Lesson 2!

Teaching Cooperation

We all want cooperation from our children. Many parents are disappointed when they don't get it, but do we take time to teach it? Cooperation involves give and take. As parents, we are more than willing to give, expecting that our children will give sometimes too. Unfortunately, some children don't know how to give; they only take. Any negotiation has to have something in it for the child or he won't work with you, and if he does agree to work, he'll do so with a bad attitude. That's not cooperation, that's coercion.

If you have a child who doesn't know how to cooperate, maybe you need to use a technique we call, "Obey first and then we’ll talk about it." This technique simply reverses the sequence of two important elements, discussion and responsiveness. A person who knows how to cooperate can be responsive and give in without necessarily having a personal benefit. The enjoyment of a pleasant relationship is the reward and sacrifice is a way to gain it.

Some parents try to talk their children into following instructions or have discussions to help them want to obey. These children often can't follow a simple instruction without a dialogue and grow up to make poor team members, difficult employees, and demanding friends.

Some parents who see a need for their children to give, not just take, require obedience by saying, "Because I'm the parent, that's why." We believe that although these parents may have a handle on the problem, their solution is inadequate. We simply suggest that a child may need a period of time where following instructions comes before the discussion to foster the ability to give up one's agenda without always having to get something out of it.

When Jenny is asked to get on her pajamas and responds with, "But I'm not tired," Mom may say, "Jenny, you need to obey first and then we'll talk about it." After Jenny obeys, then a discussion about bedtime may take place. It's surprising though, how many children don't feel the need for a discussion afterwards. Dialogue for them was simply an attempt to delay or avoid obedience.

If your children are having trouble cooperating, try "Obey first and then we'll talk about it" for a while and you'll see a noticeable difference.

This Parenting Tip comes from the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

NO AWANA CLUBS FOR ONE MORE WEEK!!

IT'S FAMILY WEEK!  ENJOY ONE MORE WEEK OF FAMILY TIME BEFORE WE LAUNCH THE NEW YEAR OF AWANA CLUBS!  Or come out to the church tonight for prayer.  We are in the middle of a 5 day Prayer Watch from 6pm to 6am every night.  So come out for an hour in the evening and start the year off right praying as a family on this family week.  Even a half an hour would glorify the Lord and encourage others who see a family praying together!  Think about it... :-D

(The Nursery is also available - UNSUPERVISED - for parents if you want a place to occupy your kids for a short time while you pray or parents can switch off.  I saw a young couple do that last night.  Inspiring!)

When Addressing Sibling Conflict, Discipline Kids Separately

One of the most challenging aspects of family life is sibling conflict. You want your children to have close relationships but differing personalities, competitiveness, and immaturity often gets in the way.

Conflict between brothers and sisters is a child’s first class in relationship school. Your home is the classroom, you are the teacher, and a healthy plan for working on conflict is the curriculum. Each conflict situation becomes an opportunity for teaching children how to relate more effectively.

One of the most important strategies for addressing sibling conflict is to discipline the children separately, not together. Kids have an amazing way of deflecting discipline when they’re together.

When two children are fighting, call one out of the room and talk about how to deal with the conflict. Some parents feel like they must stop everything and administer consequences to both kids in order to parent effectively. A better response is to train them in the moment. By removing just one of the kids you’re able to help that child develop a plan for the situation. When your son complains that you’re only disciplining him and not his sister, explain to him that he and his sister need help in different ways, and right now you’re helping him.

Teach children how to confront, ignore, negotiate, talk about problems, compromise, and be peacemakers. And when they’ve reached a point of frustration, rather than lash out, they need to get help, typically from you. Counsel the child and then send him or her back into the situation to try again. You may call the same child out of an activity five or ten times in an hour to continue to point out the change that needs to take place. Help children know what right actions are appropriate, and as long as they’re willing to try to do the right thing, send them back into the situation to practice. If necessary, call the second child out and give helpful suggestions to that child as well.

Recognizing that sibling conflict is an opportunity for relationship training gives the conflict a whole new perspective. As you listen to your children’s interaction you’ll be able to identify specific skills they need, buttons that are easily pushed, and relating weaknesses that need to be addressed.

This parenting tip comes from the book Parenting Shifts, 50 Heart-Based Strategies to Keep You Growing in Your Parenting by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

Family Week! One more week to enjoy with your family before the new year launches!

Are you enjoying the Christmas break?  Although the holidays are over, we now have our first family week of the year... so enjoy one more week with your family before we jump back into church activity!  That's the purpose of Family Week after all:  to give families more time to spend together without all the busy schedule of church activities... at least for one week a month.  Of course, it's also a great time to invite other families over for fellowship & hospitality in your home.

Now this week may be a bit different... because it's the beginning of the year, we are having a major prayer thrust every night during family week.  So you may want to join us here at the church around 6pm every night to worship and pray for the upcoming year.  But if NOT, well, then spend it with your kids talking and interacting over something besides video games.  Try it.  It's worth it!  And the time will fly by before you know it and be gone if you don't seize the day!

Why a Bedtime is Important

One of the gifts parents can give their children is teaching and developing the character quality of self-discipline. With young children, in particular, bedtime is a good place to start. Children often don't want to go to bed and the continual battle night after night is draining, causing many parents to just give up and allow children to stay up later.

A bedtime for children is good for them as well as for their parents. Enforcing it though, means extra work for a while. Here are some suggestions for working with young children to make bedtimes work more effectively.

1) Start the bedtime routine earlier so that it doesn't all get crammed into the last few minutes. If bedtime is 8:00 pm then start the routine at 7:30 by getting on pajamas and completing a bathroom routine. Then enjoy some relaxed time with children, reading or playing or just talking together.

2) At bedtime, tuck each child in individually. Use this time to continue to debrief about the day in preparation for a good night sleep and pleasant dreams. You may pray, sing, and hug your child. Different families do different things to make it fun and meaningful.

3) Enforce quietness. A child may not feel tired so lying quietly is all you can require. You may have to sit in the doorway or just outside the door to make sure the child doesn't get up, turn the light on, or start playing.

4) If a child gets up or calls out. Quickly, calmly, and firmly, get the child back in bed with as little dialogue as possible. One dad was surprised to find that the first night he had to take his three-year-old son back to bed over 20 times. After a few days, though, he saw tremendous improvement. His son realized that bedtime was nonnegotiable.

5) Hang in there, be consistent, and invest in the self-discipline development of your child. You and your children will benefit from the work you put into the process.

Bedtimes are opportunities to build relationship, but there comes a point where building self-discipline takes priority. Young children are happier and more pleasant to work with once they've learned self-discipline in their lives. It's work but it's worth it in the end.

This parenting tip comes from the book Home Improvement, the Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.