Introduction
For tens of thousands of years, in many countries and cultures
throughout the world, rites of passage have been an important part of human
culture. A rite of passage is a ritual or ceremony that marks a change in a
person’s social status. There are ceremonies in many cultures that memorialize
the birth of a child, puberty, graduation, engagement, marriage, death, and
other stages of life. In our western culture, while we still celebrate marriage
through a wedding ceremony and observe death through a funeral, we lack a
generally accepted rite of passage from childhood into adulthood. This rite of
passage that occurs around the time of puberty is sometimes called a
“blessing.”
What is a blessing?
The Hebrew word for “to bless” is baruch. Baruch means “a good word.”
When we bless our child, we are placing our “seal of approval” upon them and
giving them power to prosper in many areas of life, including in marriage, with
children, in finances, health and career.
Why do children need the blessing of their parents?
A ceremonial blessing is an act of the parents recognizing the
passage of a son or daughter emotionally and spiritually into manhood or
womanhood. It helps to establish their identity and purpose as an adult.
Establishing identity answers the question, “Who am I?”
Establishing purpose answers the question, “What am I here for?”
Additionally, when we release our children into this new season in life, we are
also releasing them to take on more responsibility and decision-making. There
is something inside every child that makes him crave for a blessing from his
parents. And without that blessing, many people spend a lifetime searching for
identity and purpose in life. They are always trying to prove themselves worthy
to their mom or dad. They are constantly seeking attention, affirmation, and
acceptance–in all of the wrong places. They are often striving to prove their
manhood or womanhood to themselves and to others through their sexual
encounters, the way they dress, their work, the money they make, or by attempting
daring feats.
Is it right to bless a rebellious, misbehaving child?
Yes. We need to separate identity and behavior. Remember, when
we bless a child, we are giving them power to prosper in life, not condoning
rebellion and disobedience. We are blessing them for who they are–a
child of God created with infinite value, dignity and worth–not for what
they do.
When does the parental blessing occur? It should probably occur
sometime between the ages of 12 and 15, depending on the emotional maturity of
the child. One sign will be when the child starts to take an interest in the
opposite sex and begins to lose an interest in childish things. Another clear
sign is when a child reaches puberty.
How does a parent bless his child?
Weddings. Graduations. Award banquets. We remember those
occasions, in part, because they were sealed by a ceremony and a celebration.
Ceremonies often drive a stake in the ground memorializing a season or time in
one’s life. Memorable ceremonies do three things:
1. Ascribe Value. They say to the person being honored, “You are
important.” “This occasion is important.”
2. Employ Symbols. A ring, a pen, a necklace, a plaque, a
certificate all provide recognition of the significance of an event.
3. Launch a New Season in Life. They say, in essence, “from this
day forward, things are going to be different.” And they do it with
celebration.
What should be the format of the ceremony?
The ceremony for the blessing can come in all shapes and sizes.
It can be conducted in a home, church or even a private room in a restaurant.
Invite family members, pastor, and friends you wish to come. Here is an example
that you can use to create your own ceremony for your child.
The Blessing of [child's full name]
- Welcome and invocation by the
mother, father, or minister.
- Introduction by mother or
father. What is a blessing and what is it for?
- Mother prays for her child.
- Father (grandfather, Uncle,
mentor) blesses the child [See Sample Blessing].
- Father presents the ring or
necklace to the child as a symbol of the blessing.
- Other family members and
friends present speak about the child.
- Celebration feast!
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What should a blessing say? You can say anything you’d
like that imparts a “good word” to your child. Here is just one
sample. The Blessing of [child's full name] [Child's
name], you are my [daughter, son], whom I love; with you I am well pleased. You
are no longer a little [girl, boy] You are now a [woman, man]. You are
well equipped with everything you need to fulfill your destiny as a [woman,
man] of God. Before the foundation of the earth, God Almighty
planned for your life and planned for you to be a [woman, man]. Psalm 139 says
that He created your inmost being. He knit you together in your mother’s womb.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. All the days ordained for you were
written by God even before you were born. There is nothing that you will ever
need to do to become a [woman, man] because God has made you one. Tonight, we
are simply recognizing publicly what God has done in you. [Child's
name], [Here, name all of the wonderful attributes and character traits of your
child. For example, for your daughter you might say something like, "God
has made you intelligent--you have a strong mind. God has made you
beautiful. I've also noticed since the time you were a little girl that our
Lord has given you a great ability to understand right and wrong, good and
evil. You are able to quickly read and understand people. You get along with
everyone and are well-respected and well thought of by others, young and old
alike. You are a leader and have used your leadership skills to make wise
decisions concerning your friends and in many other areas of your
life." I am beyond joyful that God has given you to our
family as a gift. You are a wonderful [daughter, son]. I love you and bless you
with the promises of God. You are His and have been set apart from the world
for his Holy purposes. I bless you with God’s everlasting love, wisdom, peace,
and joy. I bless you with sexual purity, marital fidelity, and many children of
your own. May God continue to keep His hand of favor and prosper you in all
that you do, and may you serve our Lord Jesus Christ all the days of your
life. Amen. [Present ring, necklace or other symbol of the
blessing.] [Start celebration and feast!]
