Anger damages relationships. We help parents every week in our office deal with anger in their families. Here are several guidelines we've found helpful for anger management in a home. When parents and kids work on these things, anger episodes are reduced. Make these a regular part of your routine and you'll see tremendous progress.
1. Never argue with children who are angry. Have them take a break and continue the conversation later.
2. Identify the anger cues that reveal your child is about to lose control. Point them out early and stop the interaction. Don’t wait for explosions before you intervene.
3. Help children recognize anger in its various disguises like a bad attitude, grumbling, glaring, or a harsh tone of voice.
4. Debrief after the child has settled down. Talk about how to handle the situation differently next time.
5. Teach children constructive responses. They could get help, talk about it, or walk away. These kinds of suggestions help children to have a plan for what they should do, not just what they shouldn't do.
6. When angry words or actions hurt others, individuals should apologize and seek forgiveness.
By doing these things you will teach your children to do what James 1:19 says, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."
This tip comes from the chapter on sibling conflict in the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
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