BGMC KID VID VETO LAUNCH SUNDAY!!

This Sunday is BGMC Offering collection Sunday! Remind your kids to bring their barrels. This is also the last Sunday of our Buck Denver Pentateuch series and we will be putting kids names in a drawing once for every quarter they put in their Buddy Barrels. The winner of the drawing will receive the What's in the Bible with Buck Denver DVD #3: Wanderin' in the Desert which we've been learning from! So the more money they put in their barrel for this Sunday, the more chances they will have to win!

Of course, this Sunday kicks off the official beginning of the Kid Vid Veto as well so remind your kids to keep collecting sponsors so that their sacrifice is worth as much as possible for missions! Hopefully you have already begun leading the example in your home in this media sacrifice or at the very least will join your kids as they begin this Sunday. It is important that we model discipline and right priorities in the home and encourage our kids to sacrifice for the Kingdom of God while they are young. I can think of no greater discipline to practice periodically as disciples of Jesus, than to turn off the worldly entertainment that can so permeate the atmosphere of our homes. This fundraiser is a WIN/WIN/WIN event, getting families off of media, raising money for missions, and bearing the natural fruit of drawing closer to Christ and others in the church! So consider rising up to the challenge with us this year and encourage your kids to go the whole 28 days!

Develop Emotional Intimacy with Your Kids

Emotional/spiritual relationships don't just happen. Here's how to be intentional about building intimacy with your family.

by Randy Wilson

I want to live my life with no regrets, especially with no relational regrets. Investing in the hearts of my bride and children should be my number one priority as I plan my to-do list. The dichotomy of responsibilities verses relationships is part of the reality of living intentionally and intimately."Hurry and intimacy are two entirely different things. What our children will remember most about their childhood when they grow older are two thingshow much love was in the home, and how much time you spent with them." — Richard Swenson

There are so many things that can distract us from building emotionally/spiritually intimate relationships. Richard Swenson observes, "It's the pace of life that destroys and derails living from the heart." Then we get so tired that we think we deserve giving our time to entertainment, just to unwind. We also give our children over to mindless entertainment by default, because we are too exhausted to invest in their hearts.

Investing time to build intimacy requires that we unplug from distractions. We can cultivate intimacy through something as simple as eye contact. Looking our children directly in their eyes when they speak to us communicates volumes to them about their worth. Our children know when we are truly listening. I have heard it said that focused attention is more powerful than words of praise. Jesus was a master at "beholding people." To behold someone speaks of direct gaze, straight into their souls. I don't ever get a picture of Christ grunting "uh-uh" as He answered people's questions, while being distracted.

Intimacy requires entering into our children's worlds. One way to do this is to ask our children questions that take us to the deepest places of their hearts and then listen for what God is saying and revealing about their hearts. Consider questions like the following:

• What is your greatest fear right now?
• What do you worry about?
• What do you need more of from Mom and Dad?
• What do you get really angry about?
• What do you get really sad about?
• What are your greatest dreams?
• What are your greatest joys?

Another doorway to intimacy is planning. Plan time into your schedule to express how much you value each of your children. When we rearrange work schedules, tee times, softball or ministry opportunities to flow best with the needs of our family, our children will feel valued. Lisa and I have spent many years saying "no" to opportunities that would have scattered our children instead of bring us closer together as a family. There are many wonderful things we have said "no" to in order to build memories; a life-style of togetherness. As our older children look back, they now thank us for the family time we chose over other opportunities our children thought were important at the time.

Intimate relationships don't just happen. It's important to be intentional about truly connecting with our children on a consistent basis. I'm motivated by Chuck Colson's words:

"As I think back on my own life, my biggest regret is not spending more time with my children. Making family your top priority means standing against a culture where materialism and workaholism are rampant. It means realizing that you may not advance as fast in your career as some of your colleagues — at least for a few years. It means being willing to accept a lower standard of living…knowing you're doing the right thing for your children, giving them the emotional security they'll draw on for the rest of their lives."

There is a peace in life that comes from having no regrets. Let's count the cost and invest in our families first. The world will wait.

Shared from the Focus on the Family website.

Numbers & Deuteronomy in the Playhouse this Sunday!

Pastor Kevin is back in the Playhouse this Sunday as we continue to explore the Pentateuch with the kids! This week, Buck Denver and co. will look at the final two books of the books of Law! This will also be a birthday celebration week for February Birthdays so come and celebrate your friends birthdays with us as well!

AND DON'T FORGET TO KEEP GATHERING SPONSORS FOR THE KID VID VETO THIS WEEK! WE'VE GOT ONE MORE WEEK BEFORE IT BEGINS AND I KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH WHO WILL SPONSOR ANY AND ALL KIDS THAT COME TO THEM, SO THE MORE KIDS WHO SEE THEM THE MORE MONEY WE WILL RAISE FOR BGMC/MISSIONS!!

A Game to Raise Awareness

Here’s an interesting and enjoyable game that can be played over several hours or a few days. You may choose to play this game on a car trip or when hanging out at home together on a Saturday afternoon. The game is the "Whoops" and "Ahhh" Game. Playing it can be a lot of fun and it helps you recognize common forms of speech that aren’t very honoring. Choose a few hours when you'll all be together interacting.

Announce the beginning of the game and explain how it's played. "We will look for five types of dishonoring speech: arguing, boasting, whining/complaining, talking too much, and being bossy. Anyone who hears dishonoring speech from children or adults says "Whoops!" Everyone then tries to guess which type of dishonoring speech they heard. The family then works together to offer honoring suggestions.

When Bill says, "Aren't we there yet," in that whiny voice, his sister, Karen might say "Whoops!" You can identify that as whining and suggest that Bill ask his question in a more honoring way.

At the same time everyone is on the lookout for honoring speech that includes praise, gratefulness, compliments, and affirmation. If Karen says, "Thanks Dad, for taking us on this trip." Dad can say, "Ahhh."

To keep it fun, you might occasionally say something dishonoring on purpose to earn a "Whoops!" You might say, "I sure am a good driver." This will earn you a "Whoops!" for boasting followed by an interesting discussion of your alternatives.

Be sure to set an end time to the game. Although the evaluation can be helpful for a time, too much analysis can get irritating and loses its fun.

By the way, if you try this game, leave a comment and let me know what you think or how it worked.

This tip comes from the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

Valentine's Hearts Theme Tonight at Awana Clubs!

Family week is over and it's back to Awana clubs tonight with love and hearts everywhere! OK, so Valentine's Day was yesterday, but we're not going to let that stop us from celebrating Love tonight! So remind your kids to put on those red and pink clothes, especially the ones with hearts and stuff! The team with the most "love" on their team tonight will get bonus points!

Remember we start at 6:15pm!

Immediate Affirmation Produces Results

Immediate praise for work well done is very motivating. It's important to catch your children doing something right. Not only do you want to affirm behavior but also you want to encourage the character development that you see growing. Use words like, "You're becoming very cooperative." Or, "I like the way you are learning to be kind." Praise goes a long way to build good habits.

When my (Joanne) son Timothy was four years old, we had a problem with him complaining at mealtimes. No matter what I served, he moaned. So I created a "Good Attitude at Mealtime" chart. It wasn't fancy or elaborate, just a piece of construction paper. I told him that when he saw what was for the meal, he could either say something positive or say nothing at all. If he did this then he'd get a star on his chart. If he complained, no star that meal. I drew cute little stars with different colors. I put faces on them and hats. Timmy loved it. He had so much fun with his chart that he would eagerly ask what was for each meal, just so he could respond rightly and get a new and different star. I told him that if he got 12 stars, I would give him a treat. The star chart helped us break the bad habit of complaining.

Look for ways to praise your children whenever possible. Don't just focus on a child's weaknesses. Praise goes a long way to develop a positive attitude in our kids about the changes they need to make. Remember to not just focus on behavior though. Tell kids what you like about the character they're demonstrating through those positive behaviors.

This idea is not just for young children who seem to eat up our praise. Teens need praise too. Often the faults of older children are glaringly obvious and quite scary for us as parents, but determine to catch your teens or young adults doing something right and praise their character and maturity. You'll be surprised at the results.

This tip comes from the book, Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

PASTOR EDDIE IN THE HOUSE!!!

This Sunday we're mixing things up a bit! Pastor Kevin will be preaching in the adult service and Pastor Eddie will be filling in for the C.W. Playhouse service! It will be a special BGMC service focusing on the country of Iceland and Pastor Eddie is excited to share some personal information he has about this Northern country.

This will also be the week we launch our annual KID VID VETO by passing out sponsor forms, so encourage your kids to be ready to start gathering support for our biggest missions fund-raiser of the year! The actual fasting of entertainment media will begin on Feb. 26th!

And parents, prepare to be challenged by Pastor Kevin in the adult service on this subject as well!

See you Sunday!

My Child Is Just Going Through The Motions

Sometimes children learn to go through the motions to just get through a discipline experience. They'll parrot the answers that they know you want to hear. You know that helping them change their hearts is the right thing to do, but you don't seem to be getting anywhere. What do you do?

"The answer must be bigger consequences." That tends to be what parents think of first, but the solution is usually more complicated. The key may be adding positive consequences that help children practice a heart change.

One mom said, "My twelve-year-old son was struggling with meanness. I had tried taking away privileges but that didn't seem to work. I decided to try something different. I told him each day to find three kind things he could do for his brother. He would have to report to me before he was free to go out and play. By focusing on the positive we began seeing some significant change."

This is a good idea but sometimes change is slow or doesn't seem to be there at all. In these cases, parents must take a two-pronged approach. First, set up a good routine and enforce it consistently. It's like a Jello mold. You're establishing boundaries for children and requiring right responses even though they don't seem to be able to assimilate change on a deeper level.

Then pray. After all, God is the one who can change a heart. Pray that your children will respond to the discipline and guidelines you set up. Tell your children that you're praying for them. Don't give up and just let them go. Continue to set the patterns and routines to be that container that they need to act rightly. Pray that God will breathe life into the container so that children aren't just acting right, but their hearts are in it too.

Look for small opportunities for dialogue, modeling, and correction that God might use to help them change. Find positive influences for your child. It's amazing how many times a youth leader at church can say the very same thing that you are saying at home but your kids will receive it better from someone else. Hang in there. The job of parenting requires a lot of faith and work. Both are necessary to help children make changes that will last.

This tip comes from the book, Parenting is Heart Work, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.