Here’s an interesting and enjoyable game that can be played over several hours or a few days. You may choose to play this game on a car trip or when hanging out at home together on a Saturday afternoon. The game is the "Whoops" and "Ahhh" Game. Playing it can be a lot of fun and it helps you recognize common forms of speech that aren’t very honoring. Choose a few hours when you'll all be together interacting.
Announce the beginning of the game and explain how it's played. "We will look for five types of dishonoring speech: arguing, boasting, whining/complaining, talking too much, and being bossy. Anyone who hears dishonoring speech from children or adults says "Whoops!" Everyone then tries to guess which type of dishonoring speech they heard. The family then works together to offer honoring suggestions.
When Bill says, "Aren't we there yet," in that whiny voice, his sister, Karen might say "Whoops!" You can identify that as whining and suggest that Bill ask his question in a more honoring way.
At the same time everyone is on the lookout for honoring speech that includes praise, gratefulness, compliments, and affirmation. If Karen says, "Thanks Dad, for taking us on this trip." Dad can say, "Ahhh."
To keep it fun, you might occasionally say something dishonoring on purpose to earn a "Whoops!" You might say, "I sure am a good driver." This will earn you a "Whoops!" for boasting followed by an interesting discussion of your alternatives.
Be sure to set an end time to the game. Although the evaluation can be helpful for a time, too much analysis can get irritating and loses its fun.
By the way, if you try this game, leave a comment and let me know what you think or how it worked.
This tip comes from the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
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