When I determined to
establish a passage rite to manhood for my son (and next one coming), I decided
that this would be a time when I could look into my son's eyes (and have other
significant men in his life join me in doing so) and declaring to him that we
now consider him a spiritual brother and a fellow man. I just cannot seeing
that occurring at such younger ages (15 and under). I have raised astute and
"street smart" boys (my bag professionally is Law Enforcement). I considered my
sons' ahead of the emotional and spiritual maturity
curve compared to their colleagues, but not having reached that "manhood" level
until after they were into their 16th year. As well, my fellow guys agreed with
me. If I were to have taken my oldest and pronounced him as earning manhood and
equality with the rest of us men at 14, he would have been the first to have
considered it "just a show" because there were so many areas where we would
not/could not include him on the man equivalent level. From
the moment we declared him Man (with the obvious exception of legal
implications), all of us have treated him as an equal and he has recognized
that. We have seen how it empowered him with confidence and purpose. That
declaration now has true and lasting meaning to him because he knows we have
lived up to our pledge to him.
I have no problem
with blessing our sons as they enter adolescence, but I fully separate the
concept of bestowing a "Blessing" to my son, from a "Rite of Passage into
Manhood." For my family, anything less would have been just words, a great
meal, and a present.
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