Friday, May 11, 2012

Blessing Ceremony vs Rite of Passage (Celebrating Manhood too early)


When I determined to establish a passage rite to manhood for my son (and next one coming), I decided that this would be a time when I could look into my son's eyes (and have other significant men in his life join me in doing so) and declaring to him that we now consider him a spiritual brother and a fellow man. I just cannot seeing that occurring at such younger ages (15 and under). I have raised astute and "street smart" boys (my bag professionally is Law Enforcement). I considered my sons' ahead of the emotional and spiritual maturity curve compared to their colleagues, but not having reached that "manhood" level until after they were into their 16th year. As well, my fellow guys agreed with me. If I were to have taken my oldest and pronounced him as earning manhood and equality with the rest of us men at 14, he would have been the first to have considered it "just a show" because there were so many areas where we would not/could not include him on the man equivalent level. From the moment we declared him Man (with the obvious exception of legal implications), all of us have treated him as an equal and he has recognized that. We have seen how it empowered him with confidence and purpose. That declaration now has true and lasting meaning to him because he knows we have lived up to our pledge to him.
I have no problem with blessing our sons as they enter adolescence, but I fully separate the concept of bestowing a "Blessing" to my son, from a "Rite of Passage into Manhood." For my family, anything less would have been just words, a great meal, and a present.

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