This Sunday: A New King is Anointed!

Saul has had his days of victory against the Philistines, but his days as king of Israel are coming to an end as he begins to disobey God and another is chosen by God!  This week your kids will learn of David's selection by God and his anointing by Samuel to be the next king even though just a boy.  Chosen over his many older brothers because of his heart for God, this young shepherd will become the greatest King in Israel's history!  It begins this Sunday in the C.W. Playhouse!  Don't let your kids miss out on all the fun, games, characters and more!

Be Careful of Reverse Psychology

Parents continue to look for ways to get their young children to cooperate. One of the methods some parents use is called "reverse psychology." It often works, but can have dangerous side effects.

When the two-year-old doesn't want to eat his sandwich, Mom may say in a playful voice, "Don't take a bite of your sandwich while I'm gone." When she returns and finds that her son is chewing a bite and smiling." Mom reacts in mock surprise and then says it again. The good news is that Mom just achieved a goal of getting her son to eat his sandwich.

But what is Mom teaching her son? Reverse psychology uses playfulness to teach children to disobey. Teasing can be fun in family life, but sometimes the teasing has underlying principles that we need to be careful about.

Reverse psychology is rarely helpful in the long run. Although little Billy may get into the bathtub when Dad says playfully, "Don't put your foot in that bathtub," he's inadvertently encouraging Billy to go against Dad's better judgment.

Playfulness is good with children. You might play a game with bath time or eating a sandwich, but be careful that you don't make jokes about things like disobedience.

This parenting tip comes from the book Preschool Explorers by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN with Diane Snyder. Just one of the developmental books in the Parenting Shifts series.

New Awana Year Kicks-Off TOMORROW NIGHT at 6:15pm!!

Are you ready for an new club year?  We are!  We're rearing and ready to go tomorrow night at 6:15pm!  We hope you're joining us this year!  Every year gets better and better, so don't miss the fun!  Stop by tomorrow at Prayer House and get your kids signed up for the year, if you haven't yet, so we can get their uniforms and books ordered!  Looking forward to seeing you then!

What Cues Do You Give Your Children?

An Action Point is the point when you stop talking and start acting or the point when children know you mean business. How do they know? You give them cues and your children know what those cues are. If you’re saying the same thing over and over again, how does your child know when the Action Point is near?

Think back on your own childhood. How did you know when your dad or mom meant business? Maybe they used your middle name or started moving toward the kitchen where that special utensil was kept. They might have gotten out of the chair or started moving toward you or given you that look.

For many parents, angry words or a harsh tone of voice become the cue children look for. Unfortunately, this harshness creates distance in the relationship. Look for ways to tighten your Action Point without anger.

Harshness isn't necessary but firmness is. Firmness with children is an important part of the teaching process. Some parents associate firmness with an authoritarian style of parenting. And it certainly can be. We're not suggesting that you become a sergeant with your kids. Even a relational parenting style often requires a point in which that child knows that the discussion is over and it's time for action.

You might say, "Katie, please turn off the TV now." The child's name and the word "now" can become the cues that your Action Point is coming. Or you might preface what you're going to say with the words, "Katie, look at me. This is an instruction."

Be careful of multiple warnings as they can weaken the instruction process. One warning may be helpful to make sure the child has understood the instruction but then the next step should be a firm follow through. If you tighten your Action Point and are ready with the follow through, you’ll get angry less often and your children will respond more quickly. Start by clarifying the cues and following through sooner.

This parenting tip comes from the book Home Improvement, The Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

THIS SUNDAY: Eddie's in the [Play] House!!!

Our Amazing Journey continues this Sunday with lessons from the life of King Saul, but Pastor Kevin won't be teaching this Sunday... at least not in the C.W. Playhouse.  PK will be preaching to the big folks.  But don't worry, the kids will be in good hands!  This Sunday morning Eddie and Lizzie Villareal will be joining the Playhouse team to teach the exciting lesson about Jonathan leading his armor bearer to defeat the Philistines!  Hannah will be there as usual and Neenah and Pepere will be celebrating September birthdays too!  So don't miss out.  There'll be plenty of fun going on while PK is away including the next exciting episode of the Pilgrim's Progress!  Be sure to arrive 10 minutes or so before service to see it!

The 5 Toughest Things for Children to Talk about with Their Parents

One of the hardest things about being a parent can be effectively communicating with your kids on important topics. As awkward as some conversations may be, it is necessary that your children feel they can come to you. Unfortunately, sometimes we can approach subjects in a way that causes our child to shut down or makes them feel uncomfortable. To really engage in a dialogue with your son or daughter, take note of the topics that are toughest for him or her to bring to you.

1.    Romantic RelationshipsThis topic is one of the hardest things for a child to talk about with parents. It is especially tough when an adolescent first enters the dating world. While you as a parent might have some useful advice for your son or daughter, he or she might protest hearing your words of wisdom. To talk to your child about relationships, try engaging in an informal conversation when you’re alone. Avoid deep questions first; start out with asking, “What do you like about (insert name)?” or “What are some activities he/she is involved in?” As your child gets more comfortable, you can begin to share your thoughts and experiences. 

2.    SexThis one might be obvious, but no child eagerly awaits the day when his parents give him “the birds and the bees” talk. This talk is awkward and uncomfortable at best. As your kids mature into teenagers, talking about sex will be increasingly hard as they begin to date and have real questions about sex. As a parent, approach this topic with the knowledge that your child might be very unwilling to communicate, so try not to force him into opening up. As kids have questions, which they undoubtedly will, they will seek you out in their own time.  But be sure you lay the groundwork for your expectations early and often, and then look for those priceless “teachable moments.”  

3.    Bad Influence FriendsSometimes, it is difficult for kids to talk to their parents about good friends who are making bad choices.  For example, if the friend all of a sudden becomes involved with drugs, a child may not bring this unwanted information to her parents automatically. Try having consistent conversations with your children about their friends, and if you sense they may be holding something back, gently ask if their friend has made any recent changes in her lifestyle.

4.    Spiritual QuestionsIf you are raising your children with a knowledge of God, it is natural that, as they grow up, they may begin to question some of the things you have taught them. Many kids struggle with asking their parents tough religious questions because they are afraid you will get mad or take offense. Answer your children patiently and honestly without assuming a defensive tone.  And remember, your children are God’s first, and He has promised to reveal Himself to them in due time.

5.    DivorceIf you and your former wife have gone through a messy divorce, do not underestimate how difficult this time is for your children. They have so many questions but may feel awkward about approaching a sensitive topic. If you have young children, they might be confused as to why you and your ex were fighting and shouting all the time. With older kids, it may cause them to assume all relationships will end badly or cause them to lose their faith in marriage. If your family has experienced divorce, take the time to sit down with your children and explain the situation. When you seem open to talking about it, they will feel more comfortable talking about their feelings, too.

© 2012 All Pro Dad.