One of the hardest things about being a parent can be effectively communicating with your kids on important topics. As awkward as some conversations may be, it is necessary that your children feel they can come to you. Unfortunately, sometimes we can approach subjects in a way that causes our child to shut down or makes them feel uncomfortable. To really engage in a dialogue with your son or daughter, take note of the topics that are toughest for him or her to bring to you.
1. Romantic RelationshipsThis topic is one of the hardest things for a child to talk about with parents. It is especially tough when an adolescent first enters the dating world. While you as a parent might have some useful advice for your son or daughter, he or she might protest hearing your words of wisdom. To talk to your child about relationships, try engaging in an informal conversation when you’re alone. Avoid deep questions first; start out with asking, “What do you like about (insert name)?” or “What are some activities he/she is involved in?” As your child gets more comfortable, you can begin to share your thoughts and experiences.
2. SexThis one might be obvious, but no child eagerly awaits the day when his parents give him “the birds and the bees” talk. This talk is awkward and uncomfortable at best. As your kids mature into teenagers, talking about sex will be increasingly hard as they begin to date and have real questions about sex. As a parent, approach this topic with the knowledge that your child might be very unwilling to communicate, so try not to force him into opening up. As kids have questions, which they undoubtedly will, they will seek you out in their own time. But be sure you lay the groundwork for your expectations early and often, and then look for those priceless “teachable moments.”
3. Bad Influence FriendsSometimes, it is difficult for kids to talk to their parents about good friends who are making bad choices. For example, if the friend all of a sudden becomes involved with drugs, a child may not bring this unwanted information to her parents automatically. Try having consistent conversations with your children about their friends, and if you sense they may be holding something back, gently ask if their friend has made any recent changes in her lifestyle.
4. Spiritual QuestionsIf you are raising your children with a knowledge of God, it is natural that, as they grow up, they may begin to question some of the things you have taught them. Many kids struggle with asking their parents tough religious questions because they are afraid you will get mad or take offense. Answer your children patiently and honestly without assuming a defensive tone. And remember, your children are God’s first, and He has promised to reveal Himself to them in due time.
5. DivorceIf you and your former wife have gone through a messy divorce, do not underestimate how difficult this time is for your children. They have so many questions but may feel awkward about approaching a sensitive topic. If you have young children, they might be confused as to why you and your ex were fighting and shouting all the time. With older kids, it may cause them to assume all relationships will end badly or cause them to lose their faith in marriage. If your family has experienced divorce, take the time to sit down with your children and explain the situation. When you seem open to talking about it, they will feel more comfortable talking about their feelings, too.
© 2012 All Pro Dad.
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