How do you talk to
kids about sex?
No
parent looks forward to this conversation, and many Christian parents have
their heads in the sand.
They tend
to put this conversation until it’s too late, which can be dangerous.
If
parents aren’t talking to their kids about sex, then they are
getting information from other sources.
The problem is that many
parents don’t know how to approach this topic with their children.
What
age should you talk to kids about sex?
What
should you do and what should you not do when talking with children about sex?
Those
questions and many more go through the minds of parents.
Here are the points
covered in the Purity for Parents class:
1) Don’t wait until your kids start puberty to talk to them
about sex. If you do, they will be too embarrassed to talk to. You need to
have this conversation with your children when they are 10 years old. My
suggestion is for fathers to go out of town for a weekend with their son. Make
a father/son bonding time and at some point have the “sex talk”. Mothers
need to do the same thing with their daughters. (If you are a single
parent, talk about it with them as much as you can, but then ask another
relative of the same gender that you trust to talk to them, maybe a
grand-parent or Aunt or Uncle or a close family friend that you absolutely
trust. They need to have this conversation with someone responsible
before their peers and media expose them to misinformation! - PK)
2) Talk about how their
bodies are going to change during puberty and how they will begin to like
girls. Talk about how babies are created and that they need to wait
until they are married to have sex.
3) Teach your kids that sex is God’s idea. God created Adam and put
him in this amazing garden. Adam wakes up one day and sees a naked woman. Adam’s
immediate response is “WO-man!” (He liked what he saw.) God told Adam. “Be
fruitful and multiply.” God is telling Adam to have sex with Eve and to
make babies.
4) Teach your kids about boundaries. Establishing healthy
boundaries is the best thing you can to do to give your children the ability to
make wise choices. The truth is you cannot make you kids not have
sex. If they want to have sex they will find a way. Your goal is to
influence them that it is in their best interest to wait until marriage. The
most basic boundary word is the word “no”. Allow your kids to say “no”
sometimes. If you always make your kids say “yes” you will teach them to say
“yes’ to everyone.
5) Read the Bible. The Bible has a lot to say about
sex. During family devotions read scriptures from time to time that deal
with sexual issues. Ask questions and let your kids ask question.
6) Keep the communication lines open! Don’t freak out if your
daughter tells you that she likes a boy. You want your kids to talk with
you about their feelings.
7) Watch what you let yourself watch. If you are watching
sexually explicit movies your kids will do the same thing. Children learn
by imitating others, but they imitate their parents more than anyone
else. Make no mistake about it. Your kids will do what you do. (Do not underestimate
the power of curiosity also!! If you allow your kids to be exposed to
heavy kissing and romantic movies that they don’t fully understand, you can
very quickly create a desire to know what comes next which can lead to
exploration and experimentation with others or virtually that you may not find
out about until it is too late and they are addicted or worse! – PK)
8) Your plan needs to change as your kids grow.
• Ages
1 – 7 – Protect
their innocence. Answer their questions but don’t give them ideas. (Many
parents never graduate from this stage.)
• Ages
8 – 9 – Read
Bible stories that directly deal with sexual issues. Ask you children if they
have any questions. Here are some good scriptures to read: Proverbs 6:20 – 35,
Proverbs 7:1-27, 2 Samuel 11 – 13
• Ages 10 -11 – Have “the talk” with your kids.
• Ages
12 and up –
Listen more and talk less. Keep communication lines open.
No comments:
Post a Comment