Relational Routines

We all know that children function best with routines in their schedule. You may be starting some new routines now around bedtime, mealtime, and even homework or getting out of the house by a certain time in the morning. Routines help us know what to expect and communicate to each family member what his or her part is.

Kids also benefit from learning good relational routines. Relational routines deal with how we handle instructions and correction, how we handle stress and conflict. They are the patterns that dictate how we relate to one another from day to day.

Relational routines are an important part of family life. When things get tense in your home, step back for a moment and evaluate the patterns that have developed. One of the ways to change those patterns is to see the routines that you use when you’re under pressure. It's amazing what happens when just one person begins to change. A whole family can change a pattern, but it all starts when one person decides to relate a little differently.

If you will take the time to teach children how to respond well to instruction or correction and then practice those healthy routines, you'll not only make family life easier but you'll teach your children something they will use in relationships for the rest of their lives.


For some practical ideas on developing healthy relational rountines, consider the book, Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.