Every day you're training your children to
become healthy responsible adults. Is it okay to get up and walk away in the
middle of a meal? Is it acceptable to leave the table without helping to clean
it up? Is it all right to eat without saying thank you to the one who prepared
the meal? How will kids learn what's appropriate if you don't train them?
Unfortunately, as parents we get upset when our children need lots of correction or when they can't seem to change right away. It is true that some problems our children have take longer to overcome than others. Our response as parents is important, though. Our exasperation can damage the relationship. Firmness is important but the harshness can do more harm than good.
Kids make mistakes. Whether the errors are deliberate or accidental, children need a godly way to think in order to get back on track. Identify an issue you wish would change in one of your children. It might be arguing whenever you give an instruction or complaining when life doesn't go just right. Break the problem down and think of the alternatives you wish your child could do or think.
Talk about proper alternatives and look for positive ways to influence your child to maturity. You may have to use consequences to motivate change but don't neglect the potential of teaching new patterns of thinking, developing new skills, and giving children a vision for doing what's right.
Most of all, be patient. Training takes time and implies lots of work. You're a coach and your child is in training. Give your kids a vision for living life on a different level and they will grow into some great relating patterns.
For more ideas about working with a heart-based approach to parenting, consider Parenting is Heart Work by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
Unfortunately, as parents we get upset when our children need lots of correction or when they can't seem to change right away. It is true that some problems our children have take longer to overcome than others. Our response as parents is important, though. Our exasperation can damage the relationship. Firmness is important but the harshness can do more harm than good.
Kids make mistakes. Whether the errors are deliberate or accidental, children need a godly way to think in order to get back on track. Identify an issue you wish would change in one of your children. It might be arguing whenever you give an instruction or complaining when life doesn't go just right. Break the problem down and think of the alternatives you wish your child could do or think.
Talk about proper alternatives and look for positive ways to influence your child to maturity. You may have to use consequences to motivate change but don't neglect the potential of teaching new patterns of thinking, developing new skills, and giving children a vision for doing what's right.
Most of all, be patient. Training takes time and implies lots of work. You're a coach and your child is in training. Give your kids a vision for living life on a different level and they will grow into some great relating patterns.
For more ideas about working with a heart-based approach to parenting, consider Parenting is Heart Work by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
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